This Writer: Facing the Fear of Excellence

Some of you have noticed my sporadic attendance in posting these last few months, and I thank you for your encouraging words.  I have been occupied by an annoyance of sorts: no not defending the universe from hoards of bad guys, not working out twenty-five hours a day to qualify for the London 2012 Olympics, and certainly not sitting in my vault at Gringots counting my wizard gold.

I have been facing an impenetrable wall called The Fear of Excellence and trying to figure out a way over, under or through.

When I first started posting on WordPress.com I had no idea what I was doing and frankly the first couple of months were nothing.  Aimless actually.  Then in February 2011 I started getting comments.   Well first it was ‘comment’ and that came from Tricia at the domestic fringe on February 25, 2011.  Then Joss popped in, then Pat Cegan and then Colleen.  That original group is still with me along with a few others.  That’s when I started writing to an audience.  So for the rest of 2011 I started posting whatever popped into my cranium.  I cheered on my blogging friends who achieved the sacred Freshly Pressed status and began to toy with the idea that I too might make The List.  Then the persistent thought became rather annoying and I decided not to focus on it at all.

I kept reading successful bloggers trying to determine exactly what ‘successful’ meant.

The IT happened.  The Wall.  The Wall of Excellence.  Well I was thrilled!  I spent days reading every post, my heart pounding with excellence as I viewed HER body of work.

First emotion – Joy – – Inspiration, excitement.
Second emotion – Laughter –Yes!  That is the standard I seek!
Third emotion – thread of caution  – um….maybe
Fourth emotion – Fear – I can’t do that! (this one lasted quite a long time)

Convinced I wanted to raise the bar, but gripped by The Fear of Failure or The Fear of Success I stopped regular posts. And even worse I stopped working on my novel, ‘Propagation’.

Have you ever lost your footing? Your grip? Your mind? Due to fear?

That Fear, that Excellence has a name and it is Cecilia at thekitchensgarden.

After wrestling with the demons of the dark side I finally found inspiration again.  I discovered I wasn’t afraid of Celi or her talent.  I was afraid of myself but succeeded in calmly thinking things out.  Now it might seem that calmly thinking took but a few minutes but it took ages.  Simply ages.

Finally going full circle I decided I could raise the bar by working at getting better.
First I needed a theme and to find it started a series of FITFS – following in the footsteps – writing about bloggers I admire and discovering what makes them successful.
Second for the ‘Oh The Plots We Weave’ series I looked at news stories and considered the possibilities for fiction.
Third I discovered a desire to do a ‘This Writer Series’ for all other subject matter.

Next I needed to commit to a schedule.  Three Themes – Three days.  It will look something like this:

Monday Mayhem – Oh The Plots We Weave
Wednesday – This Writer
Friday – FITFS

With a number of changes, challenges and events I have not been able to think about Propagation for months.  Characters and story lines sit patiently waiting to be given a voice.  Now that I am doing all this bar raising I have a sense of purpose and direction.

So what bars are you raising?

*I know this is Tuesday not Wednesday but ‘This Writer” just could not wait one more day.  When a plan comes together, one simply must act.

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Well this is too funny not to share. An honest to goodness full out laugh! Thanks Joss!

Oh the Plots We Weave

I was all set today to post something light today catching you up on my week with the felines.  The fam got home from vacation today but the feline population seems to be intent on staying with me.  Perhaps they think it is just a dream that their loving family is back.

Anyway as I was saying….an article in the paper caught my eye this morning and it has been weighing heavily on my mind since.  Not just the story but the questions it raised.  First I want to ask you – can you take a look at your life and figure out who writes the plot and directs your life?  Are you in charge of  your life?  Do you believe in fate?

There have been events in my life where I have definitely felt the strong hand of fate but then I get wondering, if I believe in fate does that automatically mean I believe in predestiny and if so does that mean we have no control over our lifes?

Something happened on Friday.  A young woman named Jessica Ghawl at the age of 24 was one of 12 people killed when Jason Holmes decided on a killing spree at a theatre in Aurora Colorado at a screening of The Dark Knight Rises movie.

This in itself is horribly sad  and one thought is, how awful to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.  But there is more.

This same young lady was in Toronto last month when there was another killing spree at the Eaton Centre and she missed it by  3 minutes changing her mind on a certain course of action.  She had planned on shopping and then sushi and for some unknown reason changed her mind at the last minute, decided on a burger and left the shopping mall.

If she had gone for shushi she would have been one of the victims.  Afterwards she said she could not identify the feeling in her chest, the odd feeling in her chest that saved her life.

I remember a case a few years ago when a man missed his plane and that plane ended up crashing.  Sometime later he died in a crash anyway – I think it was a car accident.  I think the movie Final Destination dealt with this type of thing to the ridiculous extremembut my point is it happens.

Have you ever changed your mind on a course of action due to an unexplained feeling or thought?  Has it ever completely changed the plot of your life?

I guess there are more questions than answers in this post none of which could be answered in just a few words.

12 people dead and 70+ injured.  Hundreds of lives changed – perhaps thousands.

*Someone mentioned to me that the guilty party will probably be deemed insane and get off.  So the only other comment I will make is that I believe, sane or insane we must all always be responsible for our actions.  Insane?  Drunk? Incapable of good judgement?  Oh that’s too bad.  You still have to pay.  Just my opinion.

The Night I Slept with Jack…or Jack Slept with Me..or Maybe not…

So as you know we have 3 whites.  Not great whites as in the sharks, but whites as in the cats.

I have spoken of these beasties before.  Jack is King with a capital K.  He can be a bit nasty taking a swipe at your ankles as you walk by him.  He likes to assert his power..his territory.  Then we have dear Jewels who is your typical subserviant please just stay out of my way kind of girl.  She lets Jack reign and I say ‘lets’ because I do believe if this dear lady ever decided to stake territory no one else would reign.

Jack needs to reign.  It is important to his ego.  He even bullies Bree who is away this week with the family at the cottage.  Now as you know we have Gus who is pretty new to it all.  So far Jack seems to be happy to just watch over the newcomer kitten although he is not above giving the kid a swat when needed.

Now Jack does not like me very much and for the life of me I don’t know why.  If I am in the kitchen he stretches out across the floor letting me know I am in his territory.  And he was forever taking swats at me; walking down the stairs, down the hall..well you get the idea.

Now this week, with his whole adoring family gone it is just me, Jewels, and the new kid Gus.  The family have been gone almost a week and tonight is the first time Jack decided to spend anytime major time with me.

Gus and Jack routinely wrestle around, most often in play but J always asserts his power when he becomes bored with the new kids antics and that pretty much ends the game of the moment.

Except tonight.  I am not sure if Jack sort of figures I am the new sheriff in town permanently but he decided to spread his territory.  Except Gus, the kid, has been used to sleeping on my bed at least for part of the night.

So first Gus makes himself at home beside me on the bed.  The evening is wearing on and before you know it, who makes an entrance but Jack.  He stands on the floor for a bit watching me and the kid, settling down for a bit of a read before slumbers.  Then he jumps up on the bed, my bed you understand, and sits at the foot watching us.

I’m figuring it could be very nice to tell the family, when they return that Jack and I are A1 buds.  That we slept together in perfect harmony.  Then all of a sudden there is one swift motion and a whole bunch of white fur and a bit of growling ensue.  Right beside me!

Believe it or not there really are two whites there.  Not sure what to do I remain very very very still.  Suddenly Jack jumps back and leaping from the bed leaves the room.  Gus, the new kitten in town settles and stretches out making it clear where his territory is. I tried taking photos at which point they both left my boudoir.

Guess I won’t be sleeping with Jack after all.  As for Jewels?  Well she could care less.  Her only staked out territory is my desk chair and neither of the other two seem interested.  So it all works out for her.

Men! Animal, Vegetable or Mineral.  So territorial.

A Face in the Crowd – Andy Griffith

I clicked on a show tonight more out of boredom than anything else.  1957 Andy Griffith, Patricia Neal and Walter Matthau in A Face in the Crowd.  All of them were very young of course and I never for a moment thought I would actually watch the whole movie.  Well once it started I could not stop – could not even take a bathroom break.  Griffith was about as far away from Mayberry as anyone could be.  A relative innocent, a rube whose music took him to the top and whose showmanship gave him power.  Big time power – until it consumed him.

As I watched I kept thinking of a line from the movie – something great – but there were so many good lines – exceptional lines from Griffith – from Neal – from Matthau.  I have no idea if this pic won any emmys or oscars way back then – did they even have awards then? = I am sure they must have.

This movie and his performance moved me intensely.  I will be thinking about it for a long time. Best writing.  Best performance.  Best everything.

If you want to see powerful – majestic – heart rendering and you get a chance to see it – well I sure would recommend it.  Whew!  Just had to tell you!  Magnificent!

 

FITFS …….. JOSS

Today’s Following in the Footsteps of..has been challenging. Not because I could not think of good things to say but because I was afraid of not having the words to really show how wonderful she is and why her Footsteps are good to walk in.

JOSS BURNEL

THE CROWING CRONE

I first came across the Crowing Crone about the time I started blogging and knew right away I wanted to be part of Crone group. As a matter of fact I think I mentioned this in one of my first comments to her.

I also had the priviledge of working with Joss when she wrote and published her book, ‘What I Know About Fibro’. See there I go getting ahead of myself again.

Okay – FIRST the woman – before the author and book I just knew Joss as a woman who had endured and not just survived but thrived on her early challenges. She is part of a select group that I must read as soon as she posts whether I am able to comment or not. Joss hasn’t ‘done’ anything as in ‘completing and forever closing – she is on a constant journey and each step, each experience just builds and continues building. She ‘walks in beauty and invites each of us to join her and Be W.E.L.L. (Woman Energized by Light and Love). You can’t get much better than that my friends. Among all the labels you can use where Joss is concerned, she is also a certified Holistic Health Coach. Nuts there I go again….getting ahead of me..

THE AUTHOR

Many authors, when discussing difficulty have a way of bringing us down- way down – so by the time you finish you either want to slit your throat or the author’s throat. Figuratively not literally – of course. When Joss makes a statement it is uplifting, full of hope. She is a wordsmith. There is absolutely no other descriptive word for it. Her words heal, soothe, unite, inspire, and strengthen. In addition Joss has an incredible ability to understand your needs and to identify what you need. Joss has a skill almost indescribable as a writier and and I guess that word is heart. (which nicely leads us into the next part:)

HEART CENTERED WRITING

Anyone who thinks heart is not a necessary ingredient in promoting yourself or your business deludes themselves about what makes ‘success’. Motivation to be successful can vary from the desire for financial success to more philanthropic goals but the businesses most successful are heart centered. Steve Jobs was one of many who recognized this. Without heart, success is hollow and probably more shallow that it should be.

Joss’ site to Holistic Health Coach is http://www.jossburnel.com and her services to ensure your success are all encompassing. She is ‘your virtual; assistant with expert writing and presentation skills’.

I could go on forever it seems as thoughts keep popping up..’tell them this..tell them that…’ but then …

OH

I almost forgot to tell you that I actually got to meet Joss for lunch when she was in this part of the country in April. I know whereof I speak …Here is a pic of the two of us taken by her wonderful friend Christine. Joss is on the right.  Your right my left…you know..

*In the event my link attempt did not work

http://crowingcronebewell.com and www.jossburnel.com

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Our friend Celi who always is reader worthy writes today, a message of hope for some friends. A message some of us may need also. Enjoy.

The Kitchen's Garden

Yesterday my blog reading took me from one page to another and eventually led me to one of my own stories.  I am not sure what it illustrates or why it started to peck at the inside of my head until I wrote it out  but yesterday it became demanding so here you are.  This story is for Terry. Inspired by Julie. 

To carry a baby and a basket of washing is a juggle.  When I was a very young mother I had both in spades.  Babies and washing that is. Plus juggling when you think about it.   Often I put the baby in the washing basket with the washing and carried them both outside to the clothesline together.  So on this summer day in rural New Zealand I hefted a basket of washing and its piggy back of grumpy baby through the back door.  The trees were alive…

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A Story Plot Free to Blogging Authors or Canada’s Justice System at Its Best

A Story Plot Free to Blogging Authors or Canada’s Justice System at Its Best

Some reporters do an excellent job reporting facts to the public accurately and without  judgement – just the facts ma’am just the facts.  And one of those reporters is The Hamilton Spectator‘s Ken Peters.  My first draft was filled with sarcasm scathing and railing against our shame the Canadian Legal system and our Justice system.  But what good would that do?  It would serve only to spread anger.

So as I read through the article I thought to myself, what if this was a plot?  A story outline? Perhaps one of you could use it. So without a turmoil here is a bit of information:

Characters *note these names are real so you will have to change them*

a). Dean Paquette – Defense Lawyer* get over the usual Perry Mason, LA Law idea that all defense lawyers are good and right.  No judgement here..just sayin.

b). Assistant Crown Attorney Carey Lee.

c). Reverend Jose Silva Roman Catholic priest and alleged perpetrator.

d). Ministry spokesman Brendan Crawley for Ministry of the Attorney General

e). Crown Attorney Tim Power

f). Deputy Crown Attorney Tony Leitch

g) Marcus Soares posted bail

h) Diocese of Hamilton

STORY LINE: B & A Make a deal that if C leaves Canada no prosecution.

A says if he never comes back he will never be arrested.

C returns home to his native Brazil

E states the ministry will investigate. Uhuh.

B is on a 6 month sebatical and presumablcabin not be reached.

E is on vacation and cannot be reached

F says no comment except to say there are no plans to attempt to have Silva extradited

H announced C resigned but H did pay for a portion of C’s legal bill

A says the sexual assault was on the ‘low end’ and C is a man of the cloth

G posted bail

A says the bail money would not be forfeited as part of the negotiation

A says C’s passport and visa were close to expirery so A obtained a valid passport for him.

**My additional,comment – Aside from the appearance that Canada has established a way to get rid of perverts without justice to the victims and to infect the rest of the world by shunting off its poisons there is one major consideration.

WHAT IF THIS GUY WAS INNOCENT?  No one wins in this situation and at this moment I don’t I will be waving any ‘yay I am Canadian’ flags.

FITFS…Celi Oh My

When it comes to ‘Following in the footsteps’ there is one model of theme that can’t be touched and that is Cecilia who is also known a ‘C’ and Celi.  I can’t remember how long I have been reading this wee lady with the strength of ten men, but once I started I could not stop. (in fact once I was hooked I spent a few days going back and reading every post – some of them more than once.  First because the writing is personal, exciting and filled with talent not often seen. (At least not often enough).  C describes herself as a ‘NZ girl married to an America fella, living on the prairies…’  The goal of her existence is to live on a self sustaining farm and she documents her adventures daily.  She posts first thing in the morning before her day starts, although sometimes when that day starts at 4 am she may post a couple of hours later.

Let;s see if I can give you a quick overview: first and most delightful are her ‘Walk around the Farmy’ series.  I swear her co cohabitants (I would never call them animals) have a way of becoming people in your heart.  Really. Daisy – my all time fave who is portrayed as a cow could become your best friend.  the Shush sisters, Ton Ton, Bees – who if they have individual names – and I wouldn’t be surprised if they did – and only C would remember them all. Big dog, Queenie, Baby Bobby Blanc, Minty, Mia, Meadow, the Murphy, the son of the son of Neanderthol man, Hairy MacLairy (can’t forget him) and well…it would take way too much time to list all of them but I am probably pretty close at calling it a cast of thousands.  Okay maybe not thousands but it is just like they are their own little town.

So!  There are the farm adventures, then all the education about growing, cultivating, cooking, preserving.  Amazing stuff!  And stuff about the land itself.  And cool stories about her youth and growing up on a beach in NZ.

What is amazing is I don’t know when in a 24 hour period she would rest or even sit down.  On top of all the work there is her writing, projects like the postcards -*C I love mine!  And then folks – she devoted time to the Old Codger and took to entertaining the residents in the home he lived in until he was well enough to live on his own.  Once a week she took the time and animals away for a few hours to brighten someone else’s life.  OH OH and the best part or one of the bests is that her car runs on vegetable oil – not gas.  Can you imagine?  I simply cannot tell you everything I want to in this space.  So please do stop by to visit her and see that I exaggerate not.

So if I want to FITFS follow in the footsteps in search of my own theme what could I do?  Well I can begin with our household.  No cows, no sheep, no pigs, no peacocks, or  or or.  But I do live with an interesting menagerie.  There is Bree our yellow lab who believes she is still a pup and launches all her body weight in greeting and who eats everything especially wood, plastic, shoes, well anything.

Then there are three whites.  Long haired white cats all of which were supposed to have blue eyes except for Jewels Grace who has vampire red eyes.  Poor Jewels is deaf and doesn’t realize just how loud she meows.  She is also nocturnal and heavy and clumsy.  It doesn’t matter how nice her kitty bed is or how cozy it is – she prefers a cardboard box.  It’s easy to forget about Jewlsy as G2 calls her so I always make a point to stop and pet her whenever I come across her.

I shall have to get some current pics sometime.  Celi by the way has tons of wonderful photos.

Nope I cannot follow in her footsteps so I guess I will just keep reading thekitchensgarden.com and keep on looking for my own style.

By the by…not only does she accomplish so much in a day..her site is beautiful…I am pretty confident saying there are not too many others in her league.

 

Now for as sweet as Jewels Grace is (named by G1) there is also Jack…King Jack that is.  Wherever he poses it is very regal.  He is also mean sometimes and for no reason will swat at you when you walk by.  I tried being sweet, being firm and finally now just hiss back at him when he does the same.  He will position himself directly in the path of poor Bree who will not cross Jack.  Sometimes to assure his alpha position he will eat the dog food or drink from her bowl just to annoy the dog.

Then there is wee kitty Gus who now is about 3 months old.  Gus adores Jack and it seems Jack returns the sentiment.  He watches over the kitten who is perfectly happy attacking Mr. Grumble Guts.  Jack not only puts up with him he seems totally devoted to the kid.

As strange as it all seems they make a cohesive group happy most of the time..although I am convinced Bree definitely would appreciate another canine.

I miss Sundays…

I realize this is indeed Sunday but what I miss is what Sundays used to be like.  I also realize that probably more than half the population of the country have no idea what I am talking about.

The only thing open on Sundays was church.  No movies, no stores open.  When I thought of this today I found myself trying to remember what we did on those days.

It truly was a day of rest and was spent reading, visiting family or friends, and having Sunday evening dinner which for some reason always seemed special.  In those days the Baptist church was a big part of my life and so I attended both morning and evening services since I was in the choir.

Sunday evenings were for ‘The Ed Sullivan Show’, ‘Bonanza’, and I think ‘Father Knows Best’ came in there somewhere. Oh and I almost forgot about Walt Disney.  It was a nice family time.

Saturdays had their own excitement because that day all the work had to be done.  Cleaning, groceries and homework.  When Sunday morning arrived there was nothing to do except be and think.  We started Monday well rested.

Now I have tried to simulate no work, no shopping, no movies Sundays but it just doesn’t seem to work.  There always seems to be something that needs doing.  But I won’t give up on it.  I figure if I keep trying to make it a day of rest eventually I will succeed.

What were your Sundays like in the past?