A Surprising Saturday full of changes – subtle as they may be

 

Sometimes change surprises me.  And I ask myself, If change is not planned, is it then chance?

I think there are subtle changes constantly as time goes on.  It may be a subtle as adapting to how we do things.  Perhaps due to physical changes as we grow and age, or it may be a change in attitude or perspective.  With or without external influence because, of course, it could be due to internal influences.

I was surprised to realize changes I had made.  Without consciously planning – I think.

On this moist Saturday morning here in sunny southwestern Ontario, humidity was 100%, I awoke to some thoughts.  Of course.  Those who have followed me know I have this thing about first morning thoughts being the best and brightest of the day.

The most astounding change, which for some reason only occurred to me during the ‘brightest thoughts of the day’ moment was realizing MY changes of late.  For example, FB gives a voice to anyone who signs on, billions I think, and it gives a voice without thought or reason.  No filter necessary.  It’s a reactionary voice.  See a post – react.  Reminds me of the instructions on shampoo bottles – shampoo, rinse, repeat.  Reactionary posts, in my mind, are most often inflammatory.

I had gotten into a despicable habit, thought to really be a public service, until I really thought about it. Damn, ‘thought’ does change things.  Whenever I read a news article about some outrageous thing I would post it on FB.  And as you know while I used to call out perceived injustices in many things, there suddenly appeared someone on the world stage who  provided fodder not just daily but sometimes hourly.

The end result was I felt like um,  well you can guess.  Then I came across some more positive things to share and without realizing it I discovered I was feeling much better about the things.

See?  Change without planning.  Quite nice.

Another change that just seemed to evolve but I did not realize until my ‘brightest thoughts’ this morning is the way I carry out my day.  I am a huge advocate for  GOALS.  But only thought about them daily and never really and truly did anything about them.

Then as simple as rolling over in bed I started doing somethings differently.  My usual routine had been to wake, pick up  my iPad, check emails etc, play a game and contemplate my schedule for the day. ( A biggie when one is retired.)  Then one morning a few days ago a ‘brightest’ thought drifted across my brain – what if I did not look at my iPad but first got up, had breakfast, and carried on.  The first couple of times I chose to ignore said thought, but one adventurous morning followed that thought.  And it has made quite a change to my creativity, which is always best first thing. *Since I am blogging instead of vegging – it seems it was a good idea.

There are quite a few subtle changes I realize, and I won’t list them, but there are a couple of wise thoughts that repeat of late:

‘Do not believe everything you think.’ As Louise Penny’s, Armand Ganache says, in ‘A Great Reckoning’

‘Three things to take care – Of whom you speak, To whom you speak, and when, and why, and where,’ A paraphrase from Judith Baxter  of ‘I choose how I will spend the rest of my life’ when she spoke of sayings her mother taught her.

There is a new project of sorts I have started.  It came from one of those blurby things on FB and I can’t refer you to it except it was about Headlines we read.  Pretty grim these days and instead of READING headlines to MAKE your own headline each day.  For instance: AGING WOMAN DISCOVERS CHANGE FOR THE BETTER NOT ONLY POSSIBLE BUT RELATIVELY PAINLESS.

The Problem with Giving Birth then Creative Freedom

I am thinking new exciting starts for the New Year.

You know, assessing, doing less of this more of that.

If there are any humans left out there in The Land of Facebook I fear we are few and that means I must bid adieu to Facebook.

A perusal of content reeks of animation, repetition and pathos. Soppy sayings about death, loss and love, puppies, puking and purchases, factory generated and clicked on to reflect true love and loss, and Lord help us, that ancient relic the chain letter, that if you do not pass on in minutes to at least half the world you will receive neither blessings nor bounty.

Smart ass snippets of wisdom, amusing the first time but pretty quickly pathetic. Very little human to human communication, but what is there is buried deep and takes too long to ferret out.

Honesty of opinion cannot be expressed without vile backlash. I miss expressing my opinion and I miss having someone disagree with my opinion openly and both of us respecting the other and walking away emotionally and intellectually intact.

I have a group of friends I meet with for coffee a few mornings a week at a lovely café. Opinions are diverse, expressed, discussed. There is nothing wrong with differing opinions. By considering others’ thoughts we grow, we consider, we think. We learn. We may learn something new or we may discover a little bit more about how and why we feel what we do.

How and when did we start thinking everyone must agree with us? Truth and perception are very personal and seldom exactly the same for any two.

And whoever came up with the idea of political correctness?

Pure puppet mastery, no longer amusing and painful to watch. Unfortunately this forum has been reduced from a luxurious banquet of prime rib thought exchange to the pablum consistency only suitable for infant minded consumption.

I love my contact with my real peeps but continuing contact this way is like having to read every one of the 156 flyers that come each week with the newspaper. And I love Mark Z. He did not make this what it has become. We did. ADIEU

OH AND EVERY ONE HAVE A BLESSED MERRY CHRISTMAS.

 

Stiff Upper Lip Old Chap

respect (Photo credit: Heliøs)

 

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about our open information society, and I don’t mean our lives laid out for all to see on Facebook or Dating Sites or Instagram, but how nothing seems to be private anymore.  I have stood in line at grocery stores and in a few moments had people tell me their story or worse yet the intimate details of someone else’s life.  Everything from illnesses, to affairs, to arrests, abortions, drugs..well you get the idea.  In five minutes I can walk away from a complete stranger with more information than I could ever want.

When I was a little girl I watched an old English war movie and there was a scene in a war room where three men were talking.  The one fellow excused himself and one of the other men asked what was wrong with him.  The fellow responded with, “It’s a personal matter.”  The fellow just said, “Oh that is unfortunate.”  And they continued on with business.  Even at that young age I remember thinking about how respectful the whole scene was.

You see I think we have lost some degree of respect when it comes to our personal lives, to ourselves.  The more I consider it, the more I believe it is all about respect.  Respect for ourselves and respect for others by not prying.  The thing is that few people seem to understand what is happening.

I have been doing some research for a potential biography and along the way have found myself asking just how much information should be passed on?  (Especially when that person is not alive to answer to information.)  How much information would I want my children or grandchildren to know about my life?

Do we disrespect ourselves when we just blab about everything?  I used to be a little too open about my life and activities thinking honesty equaled total disclosure.  I no longer feel that way.  Not that I have any horrendous hidden secrets but there is a certain level of information, of intimacy that really is none of anyone’s business.

There is a certain dignity to the old Stiff Upper Lip.  It means that yes I have problems and challenges and I shall look after them.  The whole Suck it up Buttercup idea is along the same lines, though a little more expressive.

What is responsible for our fall from dignity?  I believe it is the ‘Media’, especially so called reality shows that are in my opinion horrid.  Talk show hosts also contribute to this nonsense.  Come on the air, wail about your problems, cry about your circumstance, and we shall reward you.  What is the reward you ask?  Well its some degree of fame I guess.  I guess but I don’t really understand.

Back in the fifties or sixties there was a television show called ‘ Queen for a Day’.   I only watched it once because I saw people degrade themselves spilling information to gain the most sympathy.  It turned my stomach at the time.  I had no way of knowing the future held a whole society of ‘poor me’ and listen to my tale of woe.

When people were more dignified it was not a case of not being able to confide in someone, but you didn’t confide in everyone, and those you did go to kept your confidence for to not do so was shameful.

Some people today do carry on their lives without tell-tale drama.  Jodi Foster is one that comes to mind immediately but there are lots of others.   I have friends that ‘carry on with a stiff upper lip’, that ‘suck it up buttercup’ and do so with grace and dignity.  I think we need a little more dignity and self-respect and no I don’t think I want all my secrets known, not because they are horrible but because they are mine.

How do we begin to change society as a whole?  Can we even do that or is it okay to carry on and hope someone else will want to follow example?

Related articles

• Trope-a-Day: Emotions vs. Stoicism (eldraeverse.com)

The Idiot Speaketh or rather he doesn’t

English: WordPress Logo (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I received this message via FB today from our good friend and favorite Idiot Mark Pakulak from Texas.

*** Due to issues with WordPress, I will be deleting this blog in the coming days. I will continue my bike ride across Europe and will post daily updates on my Facebook page at Mark G Pakulak (Runaway Bay, Tx). See you all on FB! ***

If you are not aware of the difficulties Mark has had in the last few days you can catch up on his Face Book.

To me, Mark was WordPress so I will sorely miss his presence here but will follow him anywhere.  It is important to read what Mark has written on the rules and policies of WP because I think a lot of us really I not aware.

He brought a lot of class, laughter, and tears to us and a day with out The Idiot was like a day without..well you know what I mean.

The worst of it is that he has lost all his valuable insights.

When I began blogging I used to write my posts out on Word first and then copy them into WP.  Eventually I got comfortable enough to write directly on to the post entry and I know many of you do the same thing.  It saves time.  But not in the long run.  WP can at anytime vaporize your blog as can any similar site.  So just a cautionary word to be sure you have what you create safe somewhere in addition to your blog site.

MISS YOU HERE MARK but will see you in the funny papers..I mean on facebook.

George Carlin: Something to Ponder

Why? You must be asking yourself does this woman have so much to say today?  Two Posts on WP?

These are not my words.  They were posted on my FaceBook and I have always thought George Carlin was more philosopher than comedian so am bringing this to you on his behalf!

Pondering

SOMETHING TO PONDER: George Carlin

George Carlin’s wife died early in 2008 and George followed her, dying in July 2008. It is ironic George Carlin – comedian of the 70’s and 80’s – could write something so very eloquent and so very appropriate. An observation by George Carlin:

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We’ve learned how to make a living, but not a life. We’ve added years to life not life to years. We’ve been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We’ve done larger things, but not better things.

We’ve cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We’ve conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We’ve learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete.

Remember to spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.

Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.

Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn’t cost a cent.

Remember, to say, ‘I love you’ to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.

Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

And always remember, life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by those moments that take our breath away.

George Carlin

Related articles

• Something to Ponder for the New Year – George Carlin (llaboss.com)

Okay! Really? I Swear I Left..

I am the first to admit I am behind the times.  For a very long time in my life I was able to pretend I understood or knew things.  So first of all today I discovered an easier way to read comments from WordPress (which really is much easier than reading my emails), which was a plus.  This is a good thing.

Not such a good thing is the time I decided to spend on Facebook to answer birthday wishes.  (Other than that my Facebook is a pretty quiet site). So what do I find?

Messages that you would find on a dating site.  For a couple – will maybe a few – years I went on dating sites such as Plenty of Fish and one other I can’t quite remember.  I do know I tried Eharmony and that was a total rip off. To sign up you have to give your credit card info then they tell you that if you click on a particular link they will not renew it…liars they are as they kept renewing without permission..but that is beside the point.

The point is I have not done the dating sites for several years. (Not to put such sites down as I made new friends that will last forever though no partner), but I went to my Facebook and there was under Messages  “other” several from it seems people looking to link up.

Now I have pretty much outgrown this whole on site dating thing.  So where does it come from?  Are all of you finding the same thing?  I think Facebook is wonderful but really..this???

Hackers, Scams, and I Think I Love You – please send money

Hackers, Scams, and I Think I Love You – please send money

I have read a couple of blogs lately that have dealt with hackers getting into your email and or Facebook to send messages to your contacts saying they are in trouble, usually on a foreign trip and everything has been stolen and are bereft left with nothing and please send money to help them out.

That got me thinking about dating site scams I have encountered but never fell for.  Ah yes, before your brow crinkles in puzzlement and surprise, I rode that train for awhile.  Two or three yeas as I recall because it wasn’t that long ago.  Anyway I had fun and made a couple of life long friends.

The online chats were pretty good and the people for the most part were decent enough.  What I did find is that most people go on line in hopes of actually meeting someone, but then something changes.  They find a smorgasbord too tempting to resist and then end up becoming serial daters always checking out the next one just in case.

But I digress.  One chap, whose picture was nothing short of gorgeous started a chat.  How charming and refined!  Wealthy.  He lived not too far from me but not too close either.  He seemed quite content to get to know me over time.  He travelled brokering gold and diamonds and as a matter of fact happened to be in Ghana right now but was looking forward to meeting on his return.  He would recount his adventures of the day in detail.  This went on for several days and then the tone of his messages changed.  He felt in his heart and soul that we had something special.  This baffled me because I was content but harbored no great feelings for him.

Then one night he messaged that something had gone wrong with his credit card and his company was trying to get it straightened out but could I please send him money.

Well I read this to the girls in the office, more experienced than I who filled me in, as it were.  I had already told him no anyway.

Within twenty-four hours I get another email from an equally handsome chatee I had been corresponding with who guess what!- had exactly the same situation in exactly the same country.  Well what could I do?

I responded immediately to send me his exact map coordinates and I would send my private jet to retrieve him.  Then alas, I had suddenly realized my jet was on loan to our Prime Minister but I had the perfect solution.  I gave him the name of my other poor love, who happened to be in the same city.  Perhaps they could get together and figure a way out.  This particular scam is called the Nigerian/Ghana Emergency Scan.

Sadly I have to report I have met women, needy and wanting to believe someone could love them that fell for this and sent large amounts of money they could not afford.

There is a link below to an excellent site which discusses all kinds of scams.  Wouldn’t hurt to look them over.  Better to ne prepared!

http://www.onlinedatingsafetytips.com/Top10Scams.cfm

Technology – Help or Hindrance in Writing?

A couple of days ago Scott Berkun asked the question, “Does technology help you write?”  The respondents via the comments section showed twice as many like technology and actually feel it helps.

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2011/10/16/does-technology-help-you-write/#comments

A couple felt it neither helps nor hinders and a few more out rightly prefer pen and
paper.  This question is interesting because it is something I am currently wrestling with.

Advantages of Technology:

1)       For speed in getting what you want to say down on paper, when you cannot write quickly enough to get the words in your brain down on paper, a key board can’t be beat.
Most people cannot write legibly at any great speed for a sustained period of time.

2)      Easy editing.  Correction, addition, deletion – all very easy.

3)      Greater physical comfort in striking keyboards rather than gripping a pen or pencil.

4)      It’s great for those who have lousy penmanship.

Disadvantages of Technology:

1)       It can be distracting.  I get all hung up on form and spelling and language and lose the essence of what it is I am writing.

2)      The urge to hit the internet and get waylaid is tempting for some authors whether it be games, Facebook or other.

3)      Writing, actual writing with pen and paper seems cozier, more personal somehow.

What works?

I have been reading about authors to see what works for them.  Some like Stephen King; I believe can just type it out.  Others like Jeffrey Archer won’t touch a keyboard.  Mr. Archer has a writing schedule where he works for two hour periods throughout the day and
this makes sense as handwriting is tiresome. Peter Straub has indicated through his stories that he will hand write through the day and then type it up.  Now it was some years ago I picked up on that bit of information and for all I know he may be completely techie now.  I think that Stephenie Meyer is more a keyboard kind of gal and J.K. Rowling does both.

I prefer the feel of pen in hand but it is just too uncomfortable and my penmanship has
gone to the dogs or where ever that skill goes in time.  I don’t always feel comfortable having to sit for hours at a desk or with a laptop.  So I continue to seek that perfect blend of both.

What does work for you?  How are you able to be most productive when writing?

Breaking Fashion Rules for Mama Kat and the Keyword Here is ‘Breaking’

Mama Kat

The prompt I chose for today’s Writer’s Workshop is:

4.) In honor of the “white” after Memorial Day rule, name a fashion rule that you either break or enforce.

 It was surprisingly difficult to find an adequate definition of ‘fashion rules’ and I have never been able to actually pinpoint just who determines fashion.   Google never lets me down, nor does Wikipedia but today the search took a little longer.  Or it would have if I had been in the mood to look.  I can’t say I have ever been ‘out of fashion’ but that is because of friends who are just a little too enthusiastic about fashion rules.  It just isn’t a biggie with me.

 Ask.com had some good information.  The question was, ‘What is your number one fashion rule’? 

And the answer was,  ‘Underwear almost always goes on the inside’.  It made sense to me, but then I have seen that particular rule broken more than once.  I guess that is why the word ‘almost’ is there.

 I tried to think of a fashion icon and unfortunately remembered on the news the other day; Lady Gaga was presented with an award for her fashion sense. I swear!

 I went to facebook to look at pics posted by friends to see what they were wearing.  It’s all very casual these days.  I must admit I did not see anyone with underwear on the outside so that is a good thing.

 I used to like the fashions of the sixties.  It was neat, feminine and I happily embraced the rules then and everything matched.

 My sister-in-law keeps up on fashion and frankly I cannot wrap my mind around some of it.  For instance, did you know that your purse should no longer match anything?  And your shoes shouldn’t match anything? In fact the latest thing is that you should wear a neutral color shoe with a black dress?

 White before or after Memorial Day does not matter to me at all.  It depends strictly on the weather.

 There is only one fashion rule I adhere to and that one was made by my niece.

“Never ever dress like an old lady.”  Unfortunately I came across a morning fashion advice show that showed clothing that no one over forty should wear AND there before me on public TV was my entire wardrobe.  It’s a darn good thing I don’t really care!