Tag Archives: Youth

Brilliant Morning Thoughts #1 – Carpe diem Seize the day, put very little trust in tomorrow (the future)”

#1:  When you are old do not amble through life, but charge ahead with purpose and urgency.  That ambling shit is what makes us old.

Perception – and you all know what I think about perception- Nietzsche and all that.

Younger folk are driven to live.  Must get up, must go to work, must do for children, do, do, do, and glad at the end of the day when well deserved rest is achieved.  Days off and vacation are celebrated.  When I retire life will be sweet.  No rush, no need to be somewhere, doing something often equates to doddering.

This old girl wonders if there should be lessons on retiring.  Not this advertised crap about tennis, golf and travel and comfortable worry free living.  That doesn’t apply to most of us.  But lessons on living with purpose; having a sense of urgency that gets us up out of that bed.

In the obligated stress of pre-retirement life there is often a desire to believe we will become stress free.  Not gonna happen.  Remove the ‘have to’ of your existence and you are often left with the ‘whaaaa’?

I once heard a statistic from the Ministry of Health that more than 80% of seniors in Nursing Homes are depressed.  Guess what?  It’s not just in Nursing Homes.

Imagine you are running a marathon; Sweating, grunting, breathless effort that fills you with exhaustion and energy all at the same time.  Finally you reach the finish line and everyone cheers.  There are awards and gifts and then the crowd goes off to their busy lives and you are left standing holding a card that says ‘You made it!  You retired!  Your work is done!

Now you figure you can slip into a lower gear and slow down.  But what if the exertion of the race is what kept you going and succeeding, kept you young?  What if a lower gear is just the beginning of a slippery slope?

For many of us pre-retirement is energy.  And energy begets more energy.  Changing our Mondays to Fridays and making everyday a Saturday is not a good thing when it goes on day after day after day.

Passivity is the biggest danger to aging.  We passively watch others live their lives, and we suddenly find ourselves on the fringes of life – looking in.

The life giving sense of urgency can be as simple and the desire to get out of bed and make our tea.  Watching TV doesn’t even have to be passive if we get engaged in what we are seeing or hearing.  Engagement.

And we all have to find our own paths in this.  A list from me isn’t going to help anyone.  I have been retired for seven full years, just beginning my eighth and I am just figuring some of this out.  It’s been on my mind, teased me with niggling thoughts like little pieces of a puzzle and I am just getting enough of a picture ….more to come I am sure.

STICKS AND STONES

English: A graph showing where electronic aggr...
English: A graph showing where electronic aggression occurs. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

STICKS AND STONES

My mind has been occupied lately thinking about the power of words.  Words are wonderful when giving expression to how we feel, but there is, I think a dark side to words.  Somewhere along the line we, the people, have allowed words to hold an unimaginable strength, the strength to hurt us.  And we allow it.

The news is full of young people committing suicide from the strength we give words.

The term Bullying has become so closely defined that a comment, any comment can be taken as Bullying if it does not meet our approval.

Whenever I hear a celebrity says, ‘I was bullied.’ I wonder if it truly was bullying or just something they slanted to look that way, because after all it is the IN thing.

I find myself wondering why it is so deadly to us now.

Let’s face it – Bullying in one form or another has always existed.

Bullying when I was young generally meant a couple of people, or more,  physically bullied others.  The cowards of all cowards were bullies.

But it seems most of what is happening today is happening on the internet, social pages, or verbal attacks and the problem is that for some reason we are allowing – yes – ALLOWING – what others have to say affect us.

How has it come about that we are raising generations so easily affected by words?

When I was young, and yes, that was last century, we had a regular chant heard pretty much every day that left us impervious to taunts.  It protected us and made us stronger.  Why is it that today people flinch at words?

When did we stop believing –

STICKS AND STONES MAY BREAK OUR BONES

BUT WORDS WILL NEVER HURT US.

When did we allow someone else’s words to have the power to hurt us?  Why do we allow ourselves to be victimized by words?

How is it our children of today cannot stand up and shout out the chant that may seem silly to some, but confirms within we have strength.  We are strong.

We have so many committees and governments working on stopping bullying – which I don’t think will happen completely – but has anyone considered attacking the other end?  The part inside each child that screams in defiance –

STICKS AND STONES WILL BREAK MY BONES, BUT WORDS WILL NEVER HURT ME.

It’s time for all of us to realize we are the ones that allow words strength.

And just maybe it is time we work to change attitudes of the victims and future victims.

Go ahead.  Say it to yourself a few times.  You will feel stronger.

We need to be stronger.

 

 

 

 

Odds and Sods – Late Night Early Morning Musings

Physical bullying at school, as depicted in th...
Physical bullying at school, as depicted in the film Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

It’s 3:30 am and here I sit wide awake.  Yesterday the boys and I headed off to Kitchener to meet my SIL and her 3 grandchildren at one of the city’s museums.  There was a special area set up for Circus themes and activities which included high wire walking for the children.  We waited.  In line.  For almost 2 hours.  Each child after being strapped from stem to stern with safety wires and harnesses had the opportunity to walk the high wire and we quickly figured that the wait would be about 5 minutes per child in line.  That meant of course that 12 children equaled a 60 minute wait and the adventures therein were many but that will have to wait for another post.

The point is that by the time I got home I was exhausted, stiff, and sore.  The day was tons of fun so it was worth it, but I knew when I got home I would want to sleep so I kept moving, puttering about here and there and finally gave in to a couple of glasses of fermented grapes and a little TV.  I finally surrendered to the sandman way too early, but oh my, it did feel good to slip between those sheets and head off to the land of nod, just to wake bright and early – well the bright part is me as it is still dark outside my window- thinking great thoughts, and pondering all things ponderable.

I noticed more brave little stories on FB about bullying and an article about Charlie Sheen on yet another rant, this time about his daughter being bullied, and this got me to thinking about this way too sensitive subject.  And from that pondering came questions.

Where will the heroes of tomorrow find their brave?  So many outstanding people suffered some form on bullying or rejection (which seems to somehow have become equalized to bullying) and in doing so became braver, became stronger. They became our leaders, our artists, our models for success.

Strength, I have heard, comes from Adversity.  Are we removing or trying to remove all adversity for the younger generations?  And in doing so are we making their future more difficult?

Are we over defining bullying?  When does a taunt between children playing become bullying?  The lines have become blurred.  I can clearly see brutality, which I think is a more accurate word than bullying, which ends in child suicides and torturous lives, and should have far more severe consequences than it seems to.  But where do we draw the line?  How will anyone learn to ‘suck it up’ and carry on?

When I was a child there were lessons to be learned; Life is not fair, some people are jerks who will be hurtful and the challenge was not in negating hurt but recognizing it and becoming stronger because of it.

I fear that because of the extreme cases of brutality we are going too far in teaching our children to cry ‘poor me’ in less severe situations, instead of teaching them to stand up, be strong and understand the reality of the world.  The reality is that in spite of our great hue and cry against brutality (bullying) there still continues to be bullies and there still will continue to be bullies in the future.

George Carlin and Dean Koontz have both expressed, one on stage and one in fiction, that when we over protect our children we are doing them a disservice.  They cannot become immunized against adversity because we do not allow them to experience adversity.  Is that what we are doing in this situation?

You see, I applaud anti-bullying programs.  We have more situations when groups of people, particularly students are standing up as a group against bullying. That is a good thing.  There are all kinds of education on recognizing when bullying takes place, stopping the act of bullying, and denouncing it publically, but I have yet to see a program that teaches us the reality of the how and the why of it and coping.  It just seems that we are so busy with the ‘buzz word’ of it all, that we are failing to carry through with the successful coping of it all.