Becoming Pure of Heart
The search has been on this last while for information, inspiration to give definition to my existence. We are all defined in some way by some measure, a definition we create and live with, but my search has not been so much to seek definition as much as refine that definition. Perhaps redo that definition, and yes I believe it can be done. However I have discovered it is a little more difficult that initially thought.
It is not that I do not like who I am, I like me very much, but I want to be more, the best that I can be. Be the best you can be, a phrase we are all familiar with. When I first became comfortable in my own skin a few years ago realizing I like me I thought, mission accomplished! One never knows how long we get to live in this life especially for those of us in the last third of our life as Shirley McLaine calls this aged, aging period in her book, ‘I’m Over All That.” And the thought occurred that regardless how much time I have on the third planet from the sun I want to make the best of it.
Yes I want to stay funny, silly, curious, compassionate, gentle, charismatic, but I want to be so much more. It wasn’t enough to determine what changes I wanted to make or add, or at least it didn’t turn out to be that easy, because then followed the grueling work of first assessing where I was in right now. In painting a picture of how I wanted to see myself I had to face up to some truths that I am much better at ignoring. Now don’t get me wrong, denial is more than a river in Egypt. It is a very successful tool in surviving life at times, but can so easily become a habit to slide into like a knife in a sheath, firmly wrapped and held. Such a comfortable place to be.
My sister has teased me for years about living in Chrissyville, which is such a lovely optimistic positive place, and we giggle about this wonderful land of joy. Chrissyville needs a do over or at least a more solid base.
I can now see the person I want to be and it is thrilling but UGH it means changing some habits and habits are difficult to change by their very nature.
I am defining this growth as Becoming Pure of Heart which may not be an entirely accurate depiction though it is somewhere to start.
This is not about changing or becoming something ‘other’, it is a journey to ‘better’. I guess when I retired I thought I was done with growing in a way. You know, settled, as mature as it gets, and then oops there comes a feeling that we never stop growing, that there is more to do, more to be.
But where do you start? It seems easy enough to make a list of bad habits to break as a beginning. Do I tackle the list one by one, which will require some sorely needed patience (another growth factor)?
To choose not to evolve within the chrysalis we call life is counter productive to the universe as a whole. Everything evolves one way or another or dies.
What works for you? All advice or comments are certainly welcome as I have found a wealth of knowledge and wisdom exists in our blogging world.
