Tag Archives: kindness

There is always a Do-Over

second-chance-offenders

Some folk like to get all tangled up in semantics.  Sometimes I am one of them.

But when it comes to Do-Overs  I pretty much believe Life is full of Do-Overs and a second chance is a D-Over.

If it were not then how could we ever progress?

What do New Year’s Eve, Birthdays, September, and the first day of each new season have in common?

It is all about being able to re-do.

Popular saying: There are no-do overs in Life but there are second chances.

As you know I believe Re-do and Second Chances are exactly the same thing.

A baby learning to walk takes missteps.  Do we tell that baby ‘No re-dos.’  Of course not. At some point there is a redo.  Every great inventor had re-dos, sometimes a thousand times or more until they got it right.

Perfection is never achieved but we can and will re-do. And so it will be for ever.  Humans are not the only creatures to re-do.  Technically every living organism does a re-do, even at a cellular level and that is how mutations develop.  Intrinsic changes that help us adapt to our environment. To survive.

And that is what happens on our journey. We re-do.

As a wanna be golfer I think Life is Like a Game of Golf.

Sometimes you play along and get to the 18th hole and shake your head wondering what went wrong.

Sometimes you play along and get to the 18th hole and shake your head wondering what went right.

But all it takes is one good stroke to keep you coming back.  That one good step for the baby keeps it trying.

Trying to do that again and figuring next time you will remember what and how you did it.

Fact is, sometimes you just do it.  If you are dieting you can follow all the rules; journal, measure, and weigh, plan, and somehow still come up short.  Although consistent effort will tell in the long run.  Sometimes you skim by, barely following rules, and are rewarded. Go figure.

Until death, we all get to Re-do somehow. It doesn’t take a New Year, new season, new month or even a new day.  A Re-do, re-commitment, can take place in a new second or minute.

In a second you can decide to re-do your diet, your work, your commitment to your relationship, to yourself.

The ability to RE-DO is Hope. And hope is what Life is about.  Hope is believing there is something better.  And I think ‘better’ can only be done by re-doing,  Learning, improving.

                                        RE- DO AND BE GENUINELY KIND TO YOURSELF 

 

Hope Abides

A new day dawns with the realization that calling out evil and ignorance and confrontation only breeds hostility amongst the very people hating chaos and evil, which in itself only creates more hostility and chaos.

Response, feeds the desire for attention necessary to give this life force strength.

Perhaps every news channel and every person should spend one day ignoring entirely, and use the time to contemplate more effective measures.

Right now we are only playing Evil’s game. Put a little kindness in your hearts and minds today. Towards others. Towards yourself. Have yourselves a wondrous day.

Hidden Messages in the Midst of Demented Ramblings

The strangest thing happened yesterday and the thought of it stays with me today.  I visit frequently and regularly with a dear relative who suffers from dementia.  The kind of dementia doesn’t matter, it all translates to the same thing.  Inability to communicate, to understand, to know.

I read once that someone asked an old man why he went to see his wife in the nursing home every day when she suffered from such severe dementia that she did not know him.  He replied that yes she did not know who he was, but he knew who she was.  I think of that so often.

Anyway, I am pretty much the only person who visits this dear soul and I do it because she is family, we have a long history and because I love her greatly.  Her degree of dementia varies from day to day.  Sometimes she knows who I am, most times she just knows I am a nice lady who visits her often.  Sometimes she knows, and announces to everyone that I am her great great great…but cannot remember what.

I used to visit her in the mornings until it was time for her lunch but then the Home would call me in the evenings because that is when her agitation grew worse (It’s called Sundowners) and they would ask me to calm her if I could.  So now I visit from about 3 pm to 5 pm and this seems to keep her grounded and most times content.

Our routine each visit is pretty much the same.  Big hello and hugs and then I take her to a common area, make her a cup of tea exactly the way she likes it (the water must come to a rolling boil) and we look through magazines.  Sometimes there are groupings of words that make sense and sometimes for a short while she is pretty accurate to somethings.  Once she looked through a magazine and saw an article on MS and commented on it.  I always put a few magazines out and when she finishes one she picks up another.  She ended up picking up the same magazine she had just put down.  I did not say anything and continued to peruse my own book, always keeping an eye on her.

As she flipped through the pages she said, ‘There must be a lot of MS about because here is another article about it.’  I only said, ‘Really?’

But that is not what I wanted to tell you.  I always listen to every word she says even when they seem to make no sense.  It seems the respectful thing to do.

After tea I take her to her room and help her to lie down to stretch out her back (other wise she is in her wheelchair all day) and then I read her Bible to her until it is time for her evening meal.  She has read her Bible every day  since she was a child but can no longer hold the book or read the print.

I always sit at the foot of her bed as I read.  I stopped for a moment and she started to talk.  Trying to tell me something but things like, ‘ I am a a a a  airplane,’ would come out instead.  And still I listened and suddenly, quietly, the strangest words were coming out of her mouth,  ‘We have talked about it you know, the kindness.  You coming here to be with me so much.  Your kindness to me.  Your kindness does not go unnoticed you know.’

She raised her hand and placed in over her heart, ‘I feel your kindness.’

She looked at me, very aware in the moment, and all I could say was, ‘I come because I love you.’

She raised her hand pointing up and said, ‘Do not love me, Love Him ‘In the time it takes to breathe out it was over and she began rambling on about a myriad of things none of which made any  sense.

And I was touched.