Things change from year to year but in doing so in many ways, it stays the same. There was, and will be struggle, and what seems to count most is not what happens but how we deal with it. How we survive I guess. After all survival can be victorious, making us stronger, even if in our minds, or it can minimize us making us wonder what the hell happened. Life has never been promised to be a nirvana/ heaven, or permanently happy. Life is hard work. Happiness and joy are more a by product of surviving that hard work. It’s temporary but oh my so sweet.
Junking the Post
I wrote a post earlier today about indecision being the greatest time waster of all. Then I junked it having judged it as being neither witty nor delightful. Instead it was kind of whiny and negative about all I have not done, have not achieved, not, not, not. Then I read a few of your posts and chatted to some folk. Then I thought about all that and quickly gave myself a good swift kick. You know the kind that rattles your teeth and shakes up the stagnant gray matter pieces that are supposed to be servicing me with intellect and talent?
I love it when I have wisdom to share and am a little pouty that when I need some it is absent, no doubt hanging around some naturally brighter brain than mine – if in fact wisdom is a brain thing and there is NO way I am getting into that discussion today.
If I were wise I would tell the young man whose life appears to be shit right now that while fecal agitation can be a good thing now and then, to look at every aspect of his life he is complaining about and think long and hard about the positive parts he is forgetting about and focus on those. I would tell him to imagine for a moment that he lost everything he hates right now. Everything and everyone that irritates and angers him is gone. None of it is here anymore. Is that better? Don Henley sang, “..an angry man can only get so far until he reconciles the way he thinks things ought to be with the way things are..”
Anger, I believe comes from fear and fear I can understand. Fear stops me from being my best and following my dreams but having recognized it (the fear) I figure I can still win. Anger also comes from carrying someone else’s cross and giving others power over you. You can’t change others only yourself. You don’t have to take back your power, it was always yours. You just have to realize that.
Does that mean never be angry, never be fearful? Of course not, just put it where it belongs. Just like you should never ever supersize your fries, don’t supersize your fear or anger. Don’t let it be your primary feeling. Others feel it just by seeing you or hearing you and then they become angry or afraid, or they withdraw from you to protect themselves. If you live in anger you live alone and angrier than ever. Anger/fear will destroy your business, friendships, family.
If I were wise I could tell you how to stop, how to get off this negative track but that wisdom is beyond me. It is something I know, but I do not have the right words to make you feel it.
If I were wise I would tell another young man who has no anger but accepts the shit life deals him that it doesn’t have to be that way. We are what we think, our thoughts. Yes unfortunate and downright terrible things happen and we can accept that they do happen but we don’t have to believe that we deserve what we get. We need to believe that we deserve better and will have better. The theory is that we get what we believe we deserve or will get. I can buy into that because I have experienced it firsthand. I also know that true belief is not easy to get. It seems easy once you have it but it is like a switch that just goes off and again I do not have the wisdom to tell you how to get it. All I can do is tell you it does exist. I can give you books to read, experts to consult, but if you are not ready or willing it will come to nought.
And if you are one of the lucky ones you may even have wisdom.