Drinks with that News?

Say, do we need 24 hour news coverage?

It occurs to me that it contributes in no small way to the rampant anxiety that is so pervasive worldwide. January 1st I decided, quite spontaneously, to embrace Dry January, the international campaign mostly embraced by the U.K., France, and Switzerland. Now approaching the last day of the month I have noticed subtle and not so subtle benefits.

I did not swear to not drink for a month, but decided on the one-day-at-a-time approach. No angst, just did it. The intent was not to quit drinking forever, but to have a brain and body reset. Will I drink in February? I don’t know. It just doesn’t seem like an important issue.

So then I wondered what else I might try for February. And the thought came with early morning light as I reached for my iPad to check the News from a number of sources, and found myself quite anxious at what I would find. And. Realized this happens several times a day.

So, I don’t believe in hiding your head in the sand from what is happening but I think I will start with the News once a day. Perhaps in the evening. I”ll figure it out as I go.

You see, I think News is no longer something that is just reported. I think once news became ‘24 hour’ accessible, it had to be pumped up to Grab Attention and Inflame Passions. And. Is. A. Major. Contributing. Factor. In World. Angst. I think legitimate investigative reporting has become Sleezy Attention Grabbing Passion Inflaming designed to ….?

So off to a adventure. I guess it all comes down to taking back control of my life and mind in small ways.

Judge not…

The path to self-improvement, self-awareness, or whatever you want to call it is rocky, winding, convoluted, strewn with obstructions (I suspect of our own making), and littered with shiny objects designed to distract us, and keep us from reaching truth.  I don’t know why it is this way.  I just think it is.

For truth is where improvement lies.  And of course you all know by now what I think of truth.  It like ‘fact’ is merely a perception.  So is truth that personal a thing?  Truth or the perception of truth is so personal that it can only be my truth, and not necessarily your truth?

I am seventy-one and no closer to wisdom than the day I was born.  Is truth wisdom? Or does wisdom lead us to truth?  I think of these things every time I learn something new about myself.

Recently I discovered that under the guise of love I have been judgmental.  Judging the actions of those I love, but not realizing it was judging, rather thinking it was love mixed with ennui and fear?

How did this epiphany occur?  By discovering that those who love me (give your head a shake if necessary, I am not talking about romantic love) have in fact been judging me.  This all came about because of a decision I made about something, that, while it did not impact my nearest and dearest caused them to make a judgement. About me.  “Well she shouldn’t have done that.”

When this came to me through a conversation designed to explain concern my initial reaction was, “??”

I mentally objected that my nearest and dearest were judging me.  There is no question that they love me.  And they think their concern is in my best interest.

That’s when it hit me.  The awareness really had nothing to do with them but it acted like a mirror.  That’s when I realized that I sat in judgement of those I loved.  It did not change my love for them.  But I discovered a few uncomfortable things:

1. When you sit in judgement of anyone, you place yourself above them.
2. You may think you are loving them, but when you judge, that is not love. It is judgement.
3. To truly love you must not judge but must accept. Right or wrong you accept.
4. Your love provides a safe place. You are the rock.
5. We are all human. We make the worst decisions at times.  And at those times those who love us never stop.
6. There are no conditions to love. (If you do this and don’t do this I will love you)

The most difficult thing is to realize that no matter how old you are there are always lessons to learn.  And even more humiliating is the realization that so many others recognize the Truth long before you.

I know one thing;

I will never again judge those as right or wrong, those whom I love.

This is not about me.

WHAT IF THE SOURCE OF ….

WHAT IF THE SOURCE OF WESTERN problems all stemmed from one evil? Societal restlessness, increased suicides and attempts, especially among the young, increased violent crimes, an increasingly hopelessness infused into each moment.

I wonder if we have let ourselves be duped, not unlike those of times long past who fell victim to purveyors of handy dandy things to make your life better, happier, bring you joy, ease.

You see I wonder if all our problems exist because of a collision of expectation and reality. Just like the anorexic young girl who cannot resolve her body image with that of skinny air brushed models we have been sold a load of nonsense about happiness.

That’s right. What if our expectation of happiness is not real, but an idea invented by small time scammers who made delusion a big time business.

Just like the simple country folk in the frontier days, shelling out hard earned dollars or cents (cents were so much more valuable then) to a shyster convincing them that the purchase of a bottle of mysterious happy juice would make your life, heart, or soul better, we began, decades ago buying up and into nonsense that life was all about being happy.

By the way the purveyors of this nonsense, who kept saying, look at me, how happy I am, You can be happy just like me, were indeed happy as society shelled out billions of dollars in books, on courses, in classes, advertising. At least they appeared that way externally, though I suspect their inner souls were just as bleak as any.

In the sixties the cry was, I am trying to find myself. Who am I?

Then along came the big roll out. Meditation, examination, imagination, any ATION, and all you had to do were pay. Happiness became a product. Buy this, be happy. Happiness in a bottle, a pill, a house, a car, a dress,……Or the most dangerous, Buy This Book, Idea Psychobabble told us imagine, visualize, believe, and it will manifest. The use of the word Manifest in itself should be a crime. And for those who tried to MANIFEST and did not succeed? Well they just did not do it right. We were, and continue to this day, we are being sold a Bill of Goods. It only fills the pockets of the sellers who are scamming you me and future generations. Sure they are happy, laughing at our gullibility all the way to the bank.

Then we came to believe that we had to convince our children they are happy or rather they should be happy. That life is all about being happy. They are not allowed to fail, to feel the pain of loss and know that it is okay, a part of life that makes us stronger. And they buy our Bill of Goods and become confused, depressed, and fearful when they cannot quite grasp this feeling they should have. What is wrong with me, they say. I must be deficient.

The pursuit of the illusive HAPPINESS has gone off to a realm of ridiculousness and people, especially our young are falling apart.

What if it all could be fixed?

What if we made a society (and we can by the way) where key words became, DIGNITY, HARD WORK, DETERMINATION, PERSERVERENCE, KINDNESS, NON-JUDGEMENT, VALUE PERSISTENCE.

What if we retaught ourselves that it is okay to fail, that there is a dignity in failing and falling? That failing does not mean unworthy? What if there was honor in the struggle?

What if we let our children know that it is okay not to feel happy in any given moment?

What if the new word became Satisfaction? Not in the result but in the attempt to live a good hard working honorable life. (with heavy emphasis on the hard working) and at the end of each day to feel a satisfaction?

Life is messy, and hard, and at time so sad and lonely, and painful but there is a worth to life, a Satisfaction that must be earned.

Let’s take a huge load of our children’s minds. It’s okay to be sad, mad, even glad. Let them know LIFE IS HARD, but can be rewarding instead of setting up an illusion called Happiness. And rewards must be earned.

What if Happiness exists as a by-product of this thing called LIFE?

This Writer: Remembers – Once Upon a Time

I heard a story a long time ago and to the best of my memory it went something like this:
Once upon a time there was a young girl strolling along a mountain path when the weather suddenly changed and the snow and chilling winter winds blew forcing her to pull her jacket around her.  Walking through the storm forced her to put her head down as she struggled with each step.  Seeing a snake across the path she stopped.  The snake asked her to pick him up and give him safe harbor from the storm. ‘ I cannot do that,’ she said, ‘you will bite me and I will die.’
‘I won’t bite you,’ the snake replied, ‘ I just don’t want to die in the cold.’  After much persuading the girl picked up the poor snake and tucked him inside her coat.  Almost at once the snake bit the girl and as she lay dying she said, ‘You promised me you would not bite me.  You promised me I would be safe.’  The snake looked at her and said, ‘You knew what I was when you picked me up.’

Sometimes we know the truth but for whatever reason choose not to see it, or believe it, because we want it to be something else.  The he and she of it can change.
If there is a snake in your life are you willing to look at the truth, as painful as it can be?  We glorify truth, but the reality is that truth can be painful.  It can hurt to the core.  There is nothing easy about truth.   Sometimes we can live with what we want to believe but sometimes choosing to not see the truth can be dangerous.   Be safe my friends.  Be safe.

Run don’t walk.  It is better to face the truth and be safe.  Some of life’s snakes do not bite fatally at first.  Just nips of discomfort unsettling your mind and soul, confusing you and putting you in constant angst.

The moral of the story is clear but as one who has built in rose colored glasses it took a long time and a few snakes whose bites I survived before I was ready to deal with reality.  I rather suspect that a few unfortunate situations we get ourselves into, we in fact had a pretty good inkling would turn into the snake.

Do we hate the snake?  No, we just accept its character and nature.  You cannot hate it for its nature, we just have to be smart enough to part company ASAP and say NO.  Enough is enough is enough.

Souldipper, Regina and No Fear

Amy at http://souldipper.wordpress.com/2012/03/28/occupy-blogosphere-thursday-march-29-2012/#comment-8507 has a brilliant post today including an amazing use of egg shells that I would never have thought of.

She also talked about Regina Dugan and her TED talk on:

“What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?”

asks Regina Dugan.

Amy of course had a brilliant answer as will most of you and it was not until I was completing my comment to her that I realized Regina’s question was for me, unsettling.  When I first saw the presentation my heart thrilled to the potential of it all and then the strangest feeling settled over me.

Yup.  That feeling was fear.  It scares me to think I could do something, achieve something, without fear.  Yes Regina, the very thought is freeing.  Or it should be.  If I let go of my fear?

I’m thinking that before I can leap to fearlessness I am going to require some guidance on getting there.  Does anyone else understand the fear of fearlessness or am I just not grasping the whole idea?  Am I afraid of being fearless?  The answer has to be ‘yes’.

Logically I understand that those who excel have set aside any fear preventing success. Would I like to overcome fear.  I sure would.  It just all seems a little too scary.

Any and all advice is sincerely welcome.  There must be a way around this road block.

I can see overcoming fear of some tangible thing or at least trying to overcome it but my fears in some things are actually a security.  Or perhaps an excuse.

Measuring Success

Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom. – General George Patton.

I’ve been thinking about challenges lately, overcoming challenges, and what success is. What is a successful person? What is success? That got me wondering about how to measure success. There are a multitude of companies out there who make their success by talking about the measurement of success, and really that is all you can do – talk about it. They purport to motivate, help you define your own meaning of success, and as the presentations are paid for by the company you work for, usually to meet the company’s definition of success.

There are all kinds of tools out there to help you measure, to help you know that yes you are or are not successful. I’m thinking that the only way true way is not by measurement of any sort but by feeling. I’m thinking that success is immeasurable.

We, I, look at someone else and say, “That person is successful.” But when you speak to that person, he or she may not perceive being successful. Is success being satisfied with what you have rather than striving for something you do not have? Are we being deceived for the purpose of gain to believe that we must want, that we should strive?

I have always thought of Demi Moore as successful, someone whose work I admire (although I do acknowledge it is easy to confuse the actor with the character). She would say, I think, she is unsuccessful because her want is unsatisfied. How do we know that? She said, “What scares me is that I’m going to ultimately find out at the end of my life that I’m really not loveable.”

Even if you concede that success is something defined by each person the measurement of success is still feeling and not really measurable at all. Suppose your definition is money. Suppose you have eighty percent of the world’s money but are still not satisfied. It is not the acquisition of money, it is the feeling that it is enough.

Yup I’m thinking success is a feeling and no number of charts, written goals or affirmations can define success.
Feel it. Be it. Don’t measure it by someone else’s yard stick.

Joss Burnell That Crowing Crone Has Done It

My friend has created a wonderful book.  How do I know it is wonderful? Why because I assisted in my own little way so I have had a preview of what is to come.  Joss doesn’t have a ‘press this’ button so I have endevoured to copy and paste it her announcement of the coming work.  Some of us talk about doing….Joss does it!

Find her at crowingcrone.wordpress.com

Now for the attempted copy..

 

..I can hardly stand it!  The final editing of my book is done. The cover is ready and I’m just bursting with pride and excitement.  All that’s left is the hours of work to upload it to the self publishing software.  They make it sound so easy but it is time consuming for sure. But that’s okay.

 

A huge thank you to Chris King over at Bridges Burning for her wondrous editing work.  Chris was oh so patient, oh so gracious, and oh so paid attention to detail.  I am thrilled with the end product.

Also must thank my friend, photographer John T. Fowler for allowing me to use his image on the cover.  Isn’t it just beautiful?

And last, but definitely not least, thank you to my BFF Christine for reading the manuscript all in one go – she who hates to read at the computer!  Christine, your support and love, as you know, mean the world to me.

So, there it is folks.  I can’t wait to hold the first real copy in my hands.

Naps are for Smart People

Naps are for Smart People

Raw bundles of energy learning to assimilate into life give all in laughter, running and the work of the day which may include miles of trucks on knees, bionicals that soar to mighty heights and giggling with delight when this little piggy goes to market find restful recharging in the afternoon nap.

The simplicity of giving it your all should be a more obvious lesson to those of us who transitioned from toddler to adult.  How did we miss it?  At least for most of the grown up persuasion it seems daily toils are an effort and concentration seems to be on getting through it. We utter words, axioms, as though verbalizing acknowledges the wisdom but feel forbidden to actually do it full time.  Stop and smell the roses.  Love what you do.  

The back end of that last one is do what you love and is something I could never quite figure out.  For one thing not everyone could say what they love and so wander through live gritting their teeth doing something they think they do not love.

I probably could not have named one thing I loved to do in my youth.  Sure, I was a nurse to the core of me and loved it.  It was my calling.  But as a high schooler I worked every weekend and holiday and whether it was a laundry or grocery store or factory I loved it all.  For me I guess the pleasure was in the doing.

What if….we woke up tomorrow and decide to love everything we do?  Love that alarm and morning stretch, love that shower and first sip of coffee, love the action of getting dressed, love that drive or walk, love that work?  

There are all kinds of songs that say be glad for what we are given.  You know it may not change the world but I bet it will change us and who knows energy may abound.

Some have a dream and belief and will reach it but for most of us ordinary folk the true pleasure of life is all around us in the most mundane things.  And yes when we earn our rest at day’s end it will be one of regeneration although I believe the whole world could use the benefits of an afternoon nap. After all some of the most brilliant people in the world grabbed a little midday shut eye, probably because in their waking hours they  gave it their all.

Do You Ask Why?

Do You Ask Why?

Susan  posted on ‘Why’ today and when I first began reading it my mind was just rousing after a short nap (Yes when G2 has his quiet time so do I, he because of youth, I because of non youth) and at first her wisdom seemed simplistic,  then the magnitude of what she was saying hit.

It was an ‘of course’ eureka kind of moment.  As an adult the initial thought was…the story of my life.  How many times throughout my career and life had I experienced misadventures instead of adventures because I had failed to ask that very question?  I  immediately thought of the countless times a day that sleeping little boy in the next room asks the same question and we all chuckle at the innocence and repetitiveness, perhaps giving a light hearted or limited response never taking it too seriously.

Then I considered G2 who at eight might ask the question but first considers possibilities and puts forth options of either or.  There is such an amazing difference between the minds of eight and three but both are trying to learn, to make sense of their world with that very question.

I conclude that the worst thing we can ever do is to stop asking.  My world has changed physically somewhat but more importantly there now exists an astronomical change in perspective.  If I had read Susan’s post a couple of months ago I doubt it would have had the impact of today for now I see the world around us from a myriad of angles.

I also conclude the worst thing we can ever do is not to seek the answers to the question when we hear it and to help others around us in their quest.

Do you ask why?
You can find Susan at susanthecoach.wordpress.com

Where is Spatial Visualization When You Need It?

Where is Spatial Visualization When You Need It?

Thinking in pictures. Conceptualizing. Imagination with application. Good taste.  Classic lines. Feng Shui.  Positive Energy flow.

Heck, I am throwing ideas/things out there like partially cooked spaghetti against a wall, hoping something sticks.

Genes genes the musical fruit, the more you eat the more you …oops that’s beans not genes.  In my search for perfection or even comfortable mediocrity  I am forced to accept the gifts I have naught, as in ‘missed the train on that one’.

I am presented with a lovely living, creative, work  space in my son and DIL’s home and I am bereft, befuddled, beyond the ability to organize.  You see, I have no talent.  None.  In fact my good taste gene is so deficient I do not even have the skill to copy another.

Now maybe you can help.  Please visualize.  The room is rectangular and while actually measuring would be rather mundane I can describe it as a nice chip shot length, say 9 yards by a comfortable putt of 5 yards.

I have ‘things’ to place in the room and no idea where to begin because the flow of energy through the current design is nothing more than the bump and grind of error.

By days end there will be some sense of order, of comfort and no doubt a good degree of exhaustion, because thinking in areas where you were never meant to be is taxing on a soul who was I am sure destined to have all and sundry ready to do her bidding.  Reality bites.  Truly.