Category Archives: Relationships

What Success Means to Me

Susan The Coach (susanthecoach.wordpress.com) whom I really believe is Susan MY Coach posted today asking “what is success.?”

 She said, “The danger is you can get sucked into needing more and more of someone else’s definition of success and never really feel fulfilled. That’s because, quite simply, you are living someone else’s dream.

Then the minx that she is threw down the gauntlet – “Take the time to really decide for yourself what your definition of success is and then spend as much time and energy as you can going after it. That is the true secret to health, wealth and happiness!”

Now here I am, in bed, ready to snuggle down with a few good chapters before drifting off to the land of Nod.  But I must address this because it is a challenge that will not let me sleep until I resolve this.  I simply cannot chuck this off til the morning to do list as the matter to be considered is already working it’s way through my gray cells, knocking on each little cell door in the dormitory of my cerebrum saying wake up kids we have a problem to solve.

I so have to reschedule reading her in the light of day.

The only thing I can do is challenge myself, right now,  right here, to define My Success.  What would it look like?  This is not any easy question as success for me has always been defined as success in my career.  Something I am retired from and have been struggling with daily since January to try and figure it out.  Perhaps that is why it has become urgent, having spent the last six months like some sixties hippy trying ‘to find myself’.  Wafting along pseudo thinking instead of  down to the  nuts and bolts of it.

Success for me is:

1). Becoming financially responsible, having a plan, a direction.  Becoming fiscally creative.  Date of completion Wednesday July 20, 2011 (for the plan anyway).

2).  Making a positive difference to the daily lives of loved ones. Date of completion begins August 22,  2011 when the Granny Nanny moves to Hamilton. (as Queen of course!)

3). Getting shed of years of clutter to simplify.  True completion befor moving date of August 22, 2011

4). Becoming involved in discussion groups and committees – very important to my sense of contribution and value.

5). Success in physical health.  Working on it now with swimming and Walking Club and will seek out same after the relocation.

6). More dedicated time to blogging and completing my book.  Working on that now, however my schedule will change post move.

So now I will visualize exactly how that will look and put a plan in place to achieve it.

Thanks Susan it didn’t hurt as much as I thought it would and gives me a base to start with!!

Now off to that Nod thing.

First Failed Flush of Love – Actually

Ah First Love

First Failed Flush of Love Actually
 
These slightly overcast hot humid July mornings sometimes serve up, in addition to a light sprinkling of temporary rain, a particular memory from a land far away, a time long ago. Actually a time long ago not so much on the land faraway, except it does seem in my mind to have been a million miles away. A land distanced by time I guess.
 
We were going on vacation to a cottage probably somewhere in the Haliburton or Muskoka region of Ontario where lakes meet forest meet city dudes for a limited week or two each year. It had to have been the late fifties, a time before, air conditioning, seat belts, road service and car radios that could receive signals outside a city limits.
 
Cars broke down all the time, or at least threatened to, but were easily fixed with a patch, hot air, or a good smack along it’s frame. I remember one trip where the engine kept overheating and the only solution was to drive with the heat blowing on max on the hottest day of the year.
 
There were seven of us that year, two parents and five kids and I cannot remember what kind of car it was but it easily accommodated four or five wee bodies. I’m thinking we were between twelve and six years old. I was the oldest and considered myself a diva of sorts without knowing that word existed, and for sure possessed that false prepubescent sophistication where really, nothing associated with family was good enough for this princess and Mom and Dad became Mother and Father and really, what kind of car we drove and where we went was below my level of interest..sigh.
 
I don’t remember much about the cottage except it must have had walls, enough bedrooms and probably and indoor loo as that is one memory that would have caught my royal attention.
 
One day on the beach, no, not white sand, probably a stony beach with large rocks lining the shore, I found myself talking to a boy. There was none of the discomfort or awkwardness that preteens often start to feel, just nice pleasant conversation. It turned out that he lived very close to my house and knew my brother. Then the conversation took a turn that screamed, ‘hormones at work here!’ but of course I would not recognize that message for a few years.
 
“How old are you?” he asked.
 
Not sure what to say here as all of a sudden it occurred to me that I did not want him to know I was just a silly kid (it seems the diva devil flees in the face of true love). After a pause I countered brilliantly with, “How old are you?” feeling much like Baby must have felt when she uttered the words, “I carried a watermelon.”
 
“Fifteen,” he replied, head down, hands in his pockets and kicking dirt with his right foot.
Whew, I knew it was safe to lie since he obviously was not fifteen.
 
“Well I’m fourteen,” and he nodded. He said that his family was going home the next day, (and mine still had a week to go), and asked if he could call me for a date sometime.
 
Our week passed and I soon forgot about the encounter but a few days after returning home I got a phone call. Now phone calls back then were rare. No one actually phoned unless there was a specific purpose to said call. And there were party lines so every conversation could be heard by most of the neighborhood.
 
Anyway, the call came on a Saturday morning and he asked if I could go to the matinee that afternoon with him?
I asked my Mom, and explained who this fellow was, and my brother corroborated his decent character, and Mom said yes.
 
I was a bit in awe at the potential of a first date but was pretty cool and calm about it, while my mother made me put on an actual dress and comb my hair (I was pretty much a tomboy like Trixie Belden then so gave no thought to ‘dressing up.’
 
Then I waited. And waited. And waited. I was not particularly upset, just a little confused maybe but I had not invested any hopes and dreams in this guy so it was no biggie, although looking back; it probably was for my mother.
 
Later that day a hurried whispered call came from my suitor who apologized for not showing up because his Mom had gotten mad at him and grounded him. He sounded totally humiliated and embarrassed.
“No problem,” said I, quite sincerely and meaning it. And then I promptly forgot about it, except every now and then on a hot humid overcast, July morning, my mind does that little time travel thing, where I find myself standing on a stony beach.
 


*The ‘Actually’ series are stories of childhood and family and memories.

Thanks to Photobucket for providing photos.

I’ve Got Your Back JanieG

Peace

I have Your Back JanieG

The times they are a changin’

In this year of losing control

Our lives are battered by circumstance

As we tumble, stumble and roll.

A year of deep frustration

To many in our inner fold,

Lives ripped from comfort existent peace,

As we tumble, stumble and roll.

You are my best friend and sis,

My rock and buffer when winds blow.

My back to reality check when

As we tumble, stumble and roll.

Nary a day passes by

Without a tea, a laugh or crow

About the day, our victories when,

As we tumble, stumble and roll.

We all will find our footing.

This turbulence and wind will go

And while the miles will be a bit more

As we tumble, stumble and roll

The essence of what we are,

Cast in genes and love will console.

The miles are few, the laughs are many

As we tumble, stumble and roll.

You’re not losing your best friend,

And we are gaining more control

As those vicious winds calm  no more will

We tumble, stumble and roll.

Signed with love, as you love to say,

Your Royal Highnass!

Granny Nanny Kitty Care

Granny Nanny Kitty Care

Pulling back the shower curtain, still singing a fav shower song I found myself face to face with two whites. one on the toilet and one in the sink.  Not the Jaws kind, the purring kind.  The family is away at the cottage and Granny Nanny stopped in for a couple of days to keep them company.

They are a pretty independent sort as most felines are who manage quite well with their own company but it never hurts to remind them they are blessed by human companionship negating the need to turn to the dark feral side.  And of course to clean the litter and top off food and water.  They say very little but stretch out on their backs for a good tummy rub.

Now, sitting on the patio with morning coffee, basking in the quiet it almost feels like cottage country here, the only sounds are birds chirping to each other. I imagine at this moment the Haliburtons are waking to the sound of two children and one dog stirring ready for a day in the woods and on the lake.

Until one sits in nature’s quiet it is impossible to imagine the amount of noise and hustle and bustle we have in every day life. And for the moment birds,flowers and leaves gently moving to nature’s rhythm under a blue cloudless sky fill my senses and soul with peace.

At the Cottage

Castle to Dubai=Checkmate -Winning Moves

 
Wisdom comes to us in many forms. It may be an epiphany, gut, inspirational, learned, or it may be the pure luck of finding wise women and men who cross our paths and we in our own wisdom are smart enough to linger and learn.
 
There are a lot of purveyors of wisdom out there. Most make sense although not always, most are inspiring but not always and a few actually emulate what they preach. A few walk the walk, talk the talk and believe, not just telling us but showing us, living the message, not preaching the message.

Susan is

 
These unique individuals live the ‘Why’ of Simon Sinek knowing it is not just the ‘what’ or the ‘how’ of what we do but the why and being able to communicate the why. (check him out on Youtube)
 
Susan Castle is Susan The Coach at susanthecoach.wordpress.com and at
www.outwiththedots.com .

Susan is

 
Having the privilege of handing out awards of recognition to fifteen people over the next couple of weeks I have taken a little twist on tradition by listing seven things about each awardee. I wouldn’t know where to begin for fear of minimizing the greatness contained there in.
 
Instead I have copied a comment Susan sent to me regarding my post on integrating into a new culture, which really has nothing to do with empowering people…to unconventional wisdom, but is a good introduction to Susan the person. No crazy hype here just wisdom on becoming. If you do just one nice thing for yourself today then click on the links.
 
Submitted on 2011/06/29 at 3:48 am
Moving to Dubai from Edinburgh was a huge culture shock but not as hard as it could have been because, even though its not the official language (Arabic is), English (or at least some form of it) is the universal language here! I arrived in July to temperatures of 46 degrees centigrade, on the day I left Scotland it was hovering soggily just above 10!! At least the sogginess was familiar – humidity was over 75%!
The great thing about Dubai is that 85% of the people here are expats – we’re all in the same boat so for the most part everyone is very open to new friendships. The less great thing is if you’re not careful you can end up stuck in a group of your compatriots and never really experience the wonderful diversity that Dubai offers.

Susan is

 
Congratulations Susan for being consistently Versatile, Stylish and Irresistible!

Headlines – “J.K. Rowling thinks of Harry Potter series as an ex-lover.”

JK hearts HP

J.K. Rowling thinks of Harry Potter series as an ex-lover.”
 
“J.K. Rowling has just announced plans to launch a new interactive website Pottermore and she admitted working on site was like “casually dating” a former lover.”
 
This was reported on CTV this weekend and is probably one of the best attention getting lines I have seen for awhile. I miss the drama of good headlines and the only attempts today seem to be mags like the Enquirer and those we distrust as the lure is usually entirely fake to induce you to purchase said mag.
 
Okay, OneStop news may have the idea with today’s headline –http://onestop-news.com/june-27-2011-large-asteroid-approach-earth/925273.html/
But that too proves just a lure since it is 17,700 km away which seems very far away but in the world heavenly bodies it is really close, so I guess it is lure with substance.
 
That’s what I am talking about- Lure with Substance’. If you are going to reel me in let it at least be for a feast not just a fish sandwich.
 
When did we lose the drama of headlines that promise and then deliver? For that matter when did we lose the romance of words? As a child when I read The Greats I treasured each rambling descriptive phrase that evoked passion. Then writing took a turn for “cleaner” which doesn’t take away from a great story but it does absent ‘the flourish’, at least in my mind.
 
The one place where the drama for headlines does flourish is at WordPress.com and I’m loving it!
 
Just a few:
Who couldn’t love-
1) Break ins, Burglaries and Butterscotch Ice Cream. http://mjcache.wordpress.com/2011/06/20/break-ins-burglaries-and-butterscotch-ice-cream/
Just Freshly Pressed!
 
2) My Meeting With an Angelic Serial Killer http://thedomesticfringe.com/#!/entry/6247
 
3). Little Lamb, Mary reunite after falling out http://cassiebehle.wordpress.com/2011/05/17/262/
 
4). The Innocent Tunnel.
http://sumpix.wordpress.com/2011/06/26/the-innocent-tunnel/
 
5) Hurdling Down the Hozu-gawa River- Grandmama and Offspring In Tow
http://amblerangel.wordpress.com/2011/06/25/hurdling-down-the-hozu-gawa-river-grandmama-and-offspring-in-tow/
 
I could list forever but you know what I mean!

Yesterday Was It?- The Best Day of My Life – WAS IT?

Yesterday I blogged about my horoscope and the best day of my life.

This is what the prediction was:

“Listen closely to the wind, for the answers are blowing around right in front of you today, christine. Make contact with people you haven’t heard from in a while. You will find that you can be quite productive today in situations that you least expect. Ironically, the less you plan, the more you will get accomplished. Be spontaneous in your actions. Revelations will come to you like lightening.”

THIS is what happened:

I read the above and thought whooohooo!  
I leaped, well almost from leaped from my bed, into my suit and headed down to my pool for a few invigorating laps.
Feeling charged, showered, dressed and off to my fav coffee shop for a treat of half waffle with fruit and yogurt and coffee waiting for this answers to start swirling.
Did my post there, researched information on Empaths, and headed home to plan a day of further delights.  Of course the plan, can you plan it? was to be spontaneous.

About an hour later I ran into a problem.  I started trembling.  Hmm I thought, is it possible I am getting a revelation?  The trembling got worse.  And worse.  My hands shook so badly I could not pick up a pen and could barely hit the buttons on the phone.
The revelation? – call your sister and get to Emerg -something was definitely wrong,

Now I have not been well for about a month.  And being a good nurse I usually wait things out just to see if they will get better on their own.  Went to my doc a week ago and got antibiotics for a possible kidney thing.  No improvement.

I have never been to Emerg on the receiving end but knew it would be a long wait.  No hockey game that day. (the news had reported that when there is a major playoff game the ERs are deserted).  Nuts.

But service wasn’t bad.  It was good in fact.  Hmmm did this mean I was really sick?  So blood tests and x-rays.  Nice nurses and cute doc.

Not done yet.  Back for a CT scan at 2:30 this afternoon.

A little history – my birthday celebrations  for number 64 of last week held special meaning.
Both my parents died young of cancer of the pancreas, my dad at 57 and my mom at 63, so hitting 64 was a milestone.  A victory.  I figured I missed that genetic prophecy.  Right now of course that is sort of up in the air as the symptoms are..suggestive.

So was this horoscope accurate?  YES!
1)  The answers were blowing right in front of me.  In my dizziness that’s exactly what they were doing..blowing and floating.
2). Make contact with people I hadn’t heard from in a while…well as a patient in ER it certainly was a long long while.
3). Productive in situations I least expect..uh huh..no doubt about that one!
4). The less I planned the more I get accomplished – rather the more some people got accomplished.
5). I was very spontaneous – very!
6). Revelations will come like lightening.  Cannot argue that one.  At all.

It was a good horoscope.  It made me look after some rather pressing matters, and today I will finish that up.

So to:
 Tracy at ihaveabackbone.wordpress.com the first comment I read this morning – Yes one way or another, I guess it was the best day, though I might have wished for a little different! 🙂

Elizabeth at http://eof737.wordpress.com/ thanks for your kind words and yes we will see how it goes!

Sana my fav doc at http://friendtoyourself.wordpress.com I will keep on!

Colleen my Chatter Master friend at http://bikecolleenbrown.wordpress.com/ Aren’t we both having fun with our health this month? Yes and have to agree..gotta love the potential? 🙂

Cassie at http://cassiebehle.wordpress.com/ Tylenol did not help that particular blast of genius!

Nance at http://www.maturelandscaping.com/ What an incredible answer thank you for the fabulous information! Loved it!

Joss at http://crowingcrone.wordpress.com/ the day was magnificent..in it’s own way!

Kat at http://emotionalfitnesstraining.com/ that’s a fascinating history I guess the truth will out!

My horoscope today?
Maybe I will just skip reading these any more.  Nah probably not!

Today is an important day for you to make valuable connections with others, christine. You will find yourself engaged in fast paced, witty conversations and debates from which you can learn a great deal. You are good at seeing both sides of an issue, but the problem is that this can lead to incisiveness and an inability to commit to anything. Choose a path today and stick to it

Have a great day my readers.  Make it so! I will!

I Appear Brighter Than I Really Am

Flower Child

I Appear Brighter Than I really Am

This is similar to: objects in the mirror are closer than they appear, but I am glad I do not have to wear a sticky on my rear view mirror or any other part of my anatomy announcing the fact.

There is a fav quote of mine, I have no idea who said it originally but it goes something like this: 
It is better to keep silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.  I like it. I do not always, or almost never adhere to it, but somehow I can pull it off, mouth and all.

I understand from my father that when I was born the world was taken aback by my extremely intelligent dark brown eyes.  It is my humble belief that was just a reaction from a proud papa gazing upon his first born – me.  He would tell me that story again and again, and so I believed.

So how does one give the illusion of Intelligence?

1). Look, Listen, and Learn.  From everyone.
2). I am a natural empath and connect with people easily.  I feel and understand the emotion behind their words and body language and they feel me feeling them. Minds out of the gutter here..but it works as well in those situations too.
3). Look into their eyes when they speak – with interest, even if you have absolutely no interest in the subject at hand.  It’s surprising what you might learn and hey you just won a fan.
4). Listen for keywords and ask questions. Hey by now they are ready to write you into the will.
5). When you listen, when you appear to care all kinds of amazing things happen.  You do learn, you find yourself even caring, truly and what is better than anything else:)
6) When you do have something to say everyone listens to you!  And usually you have a lot of worthwhile things to say because you have learned so much!

For you naturally bright bunnies out there, this information will provide nothing new, however, I do wish to thank you for teaching me!

An Open Letter to Stephenie Meyer – Twilight Saga, The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner, The Illustrated Guide and Midnight Sun

Stephenie Meyer

An Open Letter to Stephenie Meyer -Twilight Saga, The Second Short Life of Bree Tanner, and The Illustrated Guide and Midnight Sun
 
Dear Ms. Meyer. ..no …Dear Stephenie, (since I feel I know you in a personal way..not weird mind you, just ….no it may be a bit weird…but just in the most complimentary way.)
 
I visited your website again today, this time to search for an email addy as I wish to say a few words to you. Unfortunately your Webmaster Seth, who by the way is doing a great job, says you do not have an addy for fans.
 
Perhaps you could correct that although I do understand the reasons, so perhaps I should revise that suggestion and request instead just the teensiest little email strictly for my use only.
 
I will try to be concise as I know or can imagine how busy you are.
 
1) I find it of great interest that your books are targeted for YA (young adults). To put your mind at ease I assure you that even though I have a few decades on you I am young never having grown up. You do know there is a huge older audience that read, enjoy and perhaps are equally addicted. Speaking for myself anyway. Your stories are timeless and your characters are living beings that have become family.
 
2) I have read every book a number of times and was glad to see the Illustrated Guide. Your interview at the beginning is the best part. I picked up Twilight yet again and read from Chapter thirteen first imagining what it was like to start there with the meadow scene.
 
3) My son who is in his thirty’s says, “Mom, you know they are seventeen.” As though love, passion, intrigue and conflict should only mean something to YA. But it is ageless as are The Cullens et al.
 
The reason for this has to do with your discussion that as you write a sequel the public begins to create what they think the next story will be. It becomes their story and so when the next book comes out some may be surprised or even taken aback.
 
I for one make no assumptions. I trust you as the creator and what comes is meant to be. I simply embrace it. That’s pretty much all I had to say.

Now I doubt your schedule allows the time to peruse hundreds of thousands of WordPress.com blogs just to search for me, but if any of my readers know you personally, or anyone of your extended large family, then I ask you to pass this on.
 
Sincerely,
Chris King (No relation to Stephen, although he did trust me with his email addy. Well me and the whole world.)
And I am: Bridgesburning.wordpress.com
Just in case you did want to take a peek!

I AM MOM! No really…I AM!

Those of you who know me well, know that I tend to look at things differently.  For me Mothers Day is not a celebration of me, but a chance to honor my children!  For without them, how could I possibly be such a super mommy?   While I do not usually publish family pics, today is special so let me introduce my crew.

My youngest Tom, with G1 and G2 Rowan (left) Caleb (right)
 
Tom posted this on facebook tonight:
I love you and thank you for all you have done.

The love of a mother is beyond compare
One who dearly loves and is always there
From scraped knees
                                                       To falls from trees
                                                       A mother cares for all
                                                       From “I told you so”
                                                        To “That’s a no-no! ”
                                                       A mother answers the call

Heidi (DL)with Rowan a great Mom!

                                        Mothers cook, mothers clean, some even work a job
                          Even with all their strength, a mother still knows how to sob
                                    Mothers should be honored for all they have done
Every day of the year, not just one
There is nothing better than a mother’s love
For her time on this earth   thank  God  above
A mother’s love endures forever
Its unbreakable bonds no on can sever
No matter how much I have grown
My mother’s love is always shown
She has become a mentor and a guide
Within her always I am able to confide
No better payment for her I can find
Then to love her with heart, and with mind
To the one who bore me; I share my emotion
To the one who raised me; Absolute devotion
To this woman I express my joy
You will always be my “mommy” and I your “baby boy”

“Glaedr the poet.”

 
And here below are Ryan and Mary Beth, my son and future DL (by this time next week!)
Ryan and my future DL (wedding is one week from now!)

 So I celebrate my offspring and their chosen partners who by the way may officially be daughters in law, but in this family they are daughters!

It also gives me the perfect chance to show who I blame for my quirkiness, my  wit, my insanity, my screwy humor, cause while they simply received the “crazy” gene, it is much more exacerbated in them, and it is very very very infectious!

See where the smile and silliness comes from?