IS WANT DESIRABLE?

IS WANT DESIRABLE?

I’ve been thinking a lot about ‘Want’ lately.

The most frequent definition is similar to Merriam-Webster 1. To be needy or destitute.  2.  To have or feel need.

Thefreedictionary.com says it is – to desire greatly; wish for.

Wiki.answers.com goes a little further and says ‘Want refers to what you absolutely have to have and ‘need’ refers to something that you don’t really lust for – but you just need it.

Answers.yahoo.com says – DESIRE is when you want something you can’t have.  WANT is when you don’t need it but you get it anyways.

I always thought that reaching a point where one says, ‘I want nothing’ was a sign of happiness, an expression of gratitude.  I don’t think it means you have everything you could want, it just means that you are grateful and appreciative for what you have.  I disagree with M-W that WANT means being needy or destitute and agree whole heartedly with the second part – To have or feel need.

There are many, perhaps too many, in this day of materialism who WANT, not because of need, unless you count the need to possess as much as possible.

I think there is a much more positive side to WANT.  Because of want we set goals and move ourselves and society forward.  Want is not always about self, but the accomplished goal is indeed personal.  WANT is an acknowledgement and from there comes our plan, our goal.

This is a very narrow positive because wanting and not receiving affects us.  So then what happens?

We can accept the ‘not having’, we can I suppose change the WANT, although if the wanting is part of our need it is not easy to give up.  Some who WANT change nothing and live, I believe, half a life never being able to get past that thing and move on.  These are the bitterest lives immersed in anger and every form of negativity.

There are special people out there who WANT and accept the not having and chose to live in joy.

WANT AS A SOURCE OF HOPE OR BELIEF

This weekend a young man died.  I only met him a couple of times but my sister was a friend.  He was born on the other side of the world in a country where his mother had to hide him so he would not be killed.  Eventually they came to live in Canada, where despite my occasional groans about politics and institution is an excellent place to live.

Here he was loved by many.
Every day he went out about the town in his electric wheelchair.  Malls were one of his favorite spots to hang out where he cheered so many with his smile and laugh.  He loved people and they in turn loved him.

In the summer he loved to go to a local park where he got out of his wheelchair and sat by the lake on a rock.  Just like everyone else.  He had wants and was never embittered by them.  He had joy for others and his want was a dream that could not be allowed on this plane of life.

It was just a few days ago when he spoke, as well as he could speak, and he told her that when he got to heaven someday  he would be able to walk, would be able to run and jump.  And his belief gave him joy.

He never resented others for what they had, he was just happy for them.

He died, this man loved by so many, somehow falling or rolling from the rock into that lake and drowning.  And as my sister spoke of him yesterday she softly said, ‘He just wanted to be normal.’

And for a time I thought of WANT and the people whose lives are ruined by it and I thought of people like this man who in the ‘not having’ enriched everyone else’s life. And I blushed through my tears as I drove home, ashamed that my Wants have at times been negatively flavored and I found a gratitude and overwhelming joy at what I do have, and found myself wondering what I can do to enrich other lives.

You see I met this man perhaps twice and if this is the impact he had on me you have some idea of others and the value of their tears.

R.I.P.

Junking The Post

Junking the Post

I wrote a post earlier today about indecision being the greatest time waster of all.  Then I junked it having judged it as being neither witty nor delightful.  Instead it was kind of whiny and negative about all I have not done, have not achieved, not, not, not.  Then I read a few of your posts and chatted to some folk.  Then I thought about all that and quickly gave myself a good swift kick.  You know the kind that rattles your teeth and shakes up the stagnant gray matter pieces that are supposed to be servicing me with intellect and talent?

I love it when I have wisdom to share and am a little pouty that when I need some it is absent, no doubt hanging around some naturally brighter brain than mine – if in fact wisdom is a brain thing and there is NO way I am getting into that discussion today.

If I were wise I would tell the young man whose life appears to be shit right now that while fecal agitation can be a good thing now and then, to look at every aspect of his life he is complaining about and think long and hard about the positive parts he is forgetting about and focus on those.  I would tell him to imagine for a moment that he lost everything he hates right now.  Everything and everyone that irritates and angers him is gone.  None of it is here anymore.  Is that better?  Don Henley sang, “..an angry man can only get so far until he reconciles the way he thinks things ought to be with the way things are..”

Anger, I believe comes from fear and fear I can understand.  Fear stops me from being my best and following my dreams but having recognized it (the fear) I figure I can still win.  Anger also comes from carrying someone else’s cross and giving others power over you.  You can’t change others only yourself.  You don’t have to take back your power, it was always yours.  You just have to realize that.

Does that mean never be angry, never be fearful?  Of course not, just put it where it belongs.  Just like you should never ever supersize your fries, don’t supersize your fear or anger. Don’t let it be your primary feeling.  Others feel it just by seeing you or hearing you and then they become angry or afraid, or they withdraw from you to protect themselves.  If you live in anger you live alone and angrier than ever.  Anger/fear will destroy your business, friendships, family.

If I were wise I could tell you how to stop, how to get off this negative track but that wisdom is beyond me.  It is something I know, but I do not have the right words to make you feel it.

If I were wise I would tell another young man who has no anger but accepts the shit life deals him that it doesn’t have to be that way.  We are what we think, our thoughts.  Yes unfortunate and downright terrible things happen and we can accept that they do happen but we don’t have to believe that we deserve what we get.  We need to believe that we deserve better and will have better.  The theory is that we get what we believe we deserve or will get.  I can buy into that because I have experienced it firsthand.   I also know that true belief is not easy to get.  It seems easy once you have it but it is like a switch that just goes off and again I do not have the wisdom to tell you how to get it.  All I can do is tell you it does exist.  I can give you books to read, experts to consult, but if you are not ready or willing it will come to nought.

And if you are one of the lucky ones you may even have wisdom.

What I Lack….

What I Lack

This was the only choice for me in this challenge.  Mostly because what I lack is so overwhelming.  It all comes down to one thing.  And that one thing is the source of all lackness.

If we lack confidence it is because of IT.
If we lack money it is because of IT.
If we lack happiness it is because of IT.
If we lack beauty it is because of IT.
If we lack peace within it is because of IT.
If we lack wisdom it is because of IT.

I have had IT sporadically but because it comes and goes and I can never hang on to IT I seek IT.  But obviously not with fervor or I would have IT all the time.
I love IT when I have IT.  I hate IT when I don’t.
When I don’t have IT I can never figure a way to get IT.
IT just seems to show up and I revel in the wonderfulness.

Nuts…..if only I could figure IT out?
You can’t beat Willpower!

The Woman on the Train and What is Wrong with Enlightenment

Peace

The Woman on the Train and What is Wrong with Enlightenment

Last year I travelled to Toronto by train every day for three days. The first morning I chatted with a woman, not the one in the title, but a very nice gal who was a teacher doing some work for the Ministry of Education.  She was fascinating and we clicked.  Going home that evening I saw her again at the train station and we picked up our conversation from the morning.  This went on each of the three days.

When I got to the station at the end of the third day I did not see my friend right away so chatted with a pleasant woman while we waited for the boarding call.  The woman said she had been to a hospital in the city for an appointment.  I didn’t pry into her health issues and she talked a bit about her life.  There was something very strange about her, an aura, a radiating peace.  She appeared to be smiling even when she wasn’t, speaking softly but with great power and at the same time seeming amazingly humble.  I was in awe just looking at her and could not understand why.  I felt for some reason I was in the presence of greatness but could not give it definition.

I spotted my friend further down the queue and knew she would be looking for me so I excused myself even though I did not want to move.  Shaking my head in puzzlement I went to join my friend.

On the train this strange woman was sitting by herself in one of those sets of seats where four face each other.  I asked if we could join her.  We three chatted about nothing in particular.  Then this strange woman looked at me -into me-and told me her story quietly.  And all else ceased to exist.

She said her appointment had been to assess her status.  She said that her mother and two sisters had died of cardiomyopathy (a deadly heart condition).  It was genetic.  I whispered to her, “And you have it too?”
She nodded.  The only cure was a heart transplant but it could not be done until a certain point had been reached in her condition.  I knew from experience that often when patients reached that point their condition often worsened and they died before a heart came available.  And still she radiated joy and incredible peace.

My friend and I got off the train before that woman’s stop.  As we walked away, my friend asked if this condition was serious.  I told her that the woman is walking with death.

I think of her often and feel I was blessed to have been in her company.

Enlightenment – and finding it has been on my mind for a long time. I have read some things that made sense but I also read a book on enlightenment that just didn’t feel right.  It calls for us to wake up in the the morning and start jumping and yelling YES! YES!  It says that to be financially rich have friends gather around and shower us with money, literally. It said a few things that perplexed me.  It might come to your mind that I am frequently perplexed.

But then the thought came to me recently………the woman on the train was true enlightenment.  She was one with God, the universe or whatever our centre is.  No yelling.  No jumping.  Just incredible peace and joy and love and gentleness and humility.

I don’t know if I will ever see that kind of thing again.  I just know that for a short time I was closer to purity than I have ever been.  And I am humbled.

Twice in a Lifetime..not….

Twice in a Lifetime….not

I find myself pondering a question that at first thought seemed easy to answer.  Many years ago there was a Canadian TV show called Twice in a Lifetime.  There was a male angel, cute as a button, who would be present at the time of death.  The deceased always had some deficiency that put their soul in jeopardy and thanks to the angel, they would then get an opportunity to go back to one point in their life to change the outcome. Invariably the deceased would conquer and the end showed them in fact restored to life – as if they had stayed on a true and proper path.

In the last few years I periodically have asked people what point in their lives they would return to – to change something if given a chance.  One friend who had experienced the worst kind of abuse as a young child said she would never have answered the door that day when a knock came.    She didn’t hesitate for even a second.  We have been friends for years and I always forget that decades later she still lives with that.

Most people don’t have such painful turning points but most can think of some point where they took a left when they should have turned right. Maybe a failed exam, or turning point or turning down a particular appointment or date.

I don’t find myself as lucky.  Every time I think of a possible trigger changing event my mind considers all the fallout effects about other good things that followed in spite of my errors in judgement.

There is no one point where I would change the course of my life. Instead there are multiple truths I ignored at one time or another that I would like to go back and embrace when I did not:

Do unto others….
Save ten percent..
Onto thine own self…
Be quiet and listen…
Be the kind of friend…
Honor thy….

There may not be a true Twice in a Lifetime and  thank God for that..instead each day is new and when we open our eyes we have a chance to do it better than the day before…or the year before..or…
For some of us it is baby steps cause just when I think I have conquered a mountain, I realize my biggest sin is congratulating myself for being so darn good..and I lose humility.  If I am not humble I am not seeing the scope of my own frailty, or the scope of God’s Greatness.

Nuts..then it is like…back to the beginning…sigh.

Do you have one pivotal point where you would have changed your course of action?

Keeping that Angel Close

Keeping that Angel Close

I had something unpleasant to face today.  My world operates better when it is through rose colored glasses.  Not the make believe unrealistic kind but the ones where I see a silver lining in anything.

I have discovered that it doesn’t matter as much what the world throws at you but how you perceive, how you react to it.  Old Rose Kennedy was just one of many who said that it doesn’t matter it just matters how you handle it.

2011 has been a year of awakening.  I study, I meditate, I give thanks.  Sometimes in all this enlightenment I forget to remain humble and get carried away with the joy of how much I have learned and that is never a good thing.  Giving thanks is essential for happiness but thankfulness cannot be sincere unless one is first humble.

Yesterday was the first time this year a feeling of fear descended upon me.  Over reaction to something that might possibly happen – today.

Then I read The War Fish’s Lair post today and the angel he imagined he had walking with him.  So I took an angel with me.  Imagining it first, then feeling it. And true enough it went well and my state of thankfulness is exactly where and how it should be.