6/366 When It’s Short It’s Probably Busy

 

I am in Hamilton staying overnight as I have an appointment in the morning here.

Saw my fave Aunt this morning, then it was off to my first Tai Chi class, which I loved, then motored to Hamilton.

Visiting with my newly returned from Hawaii family.  It’s only been four days so they are still sporting nice tans. The time zone adjustments took a bit of time but everyone seems back to normal.

Frannie gets a little confused sometimes and will think Jack is still alive (he has been gone more than a decade) and then when she remembers she grieves anew.  These days she is pretty good so all conversation is just nice memories.  We were talking about Jack’s fave hobby which was fishing.  Now Fran cannot abide anything that comes from the sea, especially if it was once alive and is now dead in preparation for consumption.

She never belittled his passion and would properly ooooo and ahhhh over the catch of the day. They respected each other’s feelings. Thank goodness Jack was an A1 cook and we would feast mightily.

Five Days and It Feels Like a Year 5/366

I just thinking the other day – I wonder how long it will continue to feel like a new year.  You know, when your first morning thought is not, -Wow it’s a new year.  There is a certain deliciousness in the feeling.  Sort of how you feel when you get a brand new car.  A sense of awe.

But life intrudes, you know, with life things.  What is that saying? “Life gets in the way.”  Yeah I think that is it.

Conditions change, people get sick and get well. Some things you expect as you age.  As your friends age.  And sometimes the threat is to  younger people.

I was just saying not too long ago to a dear friend, Judith, that someone should write a book about cancer.  About something that never seems to be addressed.  I mean people discuss, write, argue about ‘fighting’, about “surviving’.  But there is one word that describes cancer perfectly.  Waiting.  Eternally waiting.  That’s what it all becomes about. The Sword of Damocles.  Hanging there.  Always.  Just try and live a normal life while you wait.  Hah.

No, it’s not me.  The Big C and I did our dance over a year ago and so far so good.  But it is someone.  And the thing is that for the next forever there is THE WAIT.

Wait – something may be wrong

Wait – we have to do some more tests

Wait – we have to do some MORE tests just to be sure

Wait – you have cancer

Wait- we have to do this bit of surgery to see how bad it could be.

Wait – we have to do more surgery

Wait – we have to do more tests

Wait- we have to do this treatment, that treatment

Wait – we have to do more tests

WAIT WAIT WAIT

Your life and everyone who loves you waits.  No promises.  No conclusions.  Just wait. Suspended Animation.

LIMBO.  Rod Serling’s Twilight Zone.  Imagine if you will.  That’s how he started each of his shows.  Imagine if you will…..

Or don’t imagine.  Just try not imagining. HAH

Well enough of my grumping for now.  I saw our Auntie Fran this morning as I do most days.  She was telling me that she was seventeen when she went into Nurses Training.  So that would have been 1951.  She said training lasted for four years and most of it was working on the units.  It was pretty much the same when I trained in 1966 and I still think it is a superior way to learn.  But for her it was six days a week, twelve hours a day when on the units.

To appreciate our love story you have to understand the two people involved.  I already told you Uncle Jack was a charmer.  Aunt Fran was the exact opposite.  Down to earth.  Her early years were spent during the second world war.  Her father gone into service, rationing and hardship for everyone not just for her.   Her father returned I think about 1945.  She was eleven when the war ended.  Hardly a year later when she was twelve her mother died.

Her parents and probably their parents were Salvation Army so they grew up with a solid foundation of faith.  Frances Alice never thought of herself as a dreamer.  There was too much harsh reality.

She told me a story that when she was about six she and her mother were walking along in town, and her mother was holding her hand.  The town was most upset because a young child had been abducted from the town, and I do not know if she was ever found.

Anyway Fran told me her mother said, “You should be happy you are not pretty. Because that means no one will ever steal you.”

Isn’t funny the things we remember from our childhood?  Fran told me this story because I had told her a few years ago that when I first met her I thought she was so beautiful.  She offered this information so that I would know she was not beautiful.  She was not even pretty.  I am sure her mother loved her and I think that she could not have known those words would stay with her young daughter forever.

You might think there would be a danger that if a smooth talking gent happened along and called her beautiful that she would succumb to his charms.  But don’t forget our lady was made of strong moral fiber.

More tomorrow my friends.

 

Oh by the way , the stamp about was issued by the Australian government in honour of nurses in 1955 the year Frannie graduated.

 

Surprisingly It’s Winter 3/366

Here in the supposed frozen north, as anyone south of Canada thinks of it, it is winter.  White flakes falling, and roads plowed to allow traffic flow.  El Nino winters are always milder than the norm but this year we saw no snow until New Year.  Frequently we wore lighter jackets.  But now we are truly into winter.  The question is what kind of winter will it be?

Today I had the last of the turkey dinner left overs.  It’s a meal I truly enjoy so I am not sure why I don’t have it more often.  And I am now just finishing the last of my holiday wine.

I quit smoking this past year in October.  It is something I really enjoyed but there were enough reasons to do it so I did.  I miss it sometimes but not enough to light up again.  I worried about my weight more than anything.  Back in ’97 I quit for eighteen months and gained thirty pounds.  I am quite happy with my weight and have no desire to gain.   Anyway, in almost three months I have actually lost a few pounds so I suppose that is good.  I decided sometime last year to stop worrying about gains and losses.  Well mostly gains.  I put it out of my mind and ate and drank pretty much what I wanted.  No fuss.  No muss as they say.  It seems to have worked.  The only change I have made is that I try to be more active.  Not working out active.  Just more active.

I went to see my auntie today again as I do most days.  She is somewhat confused but not too bad.  She still knows who I am.  I know yesterday I mentioned her a promised to tell you about  her.

She is originally from Sidney Australia, born in 1934.  She is not an ‘immediate’ aunt but a great aunt.  She was married to my great uncle John, or Jack as we all knew him.  Now Jack was my fathers uncle but he was two years younger than my dad.  So that means that when my dad was two years old, his mothers mother gave birth to a bouncing baby boy.  Actually Jack’s mother, Annie White had something like twenty-eight pregnancies, fourteen of which survived.  One of whom was my grandmother Elsie and many years later her brother, my uncle Jack.  Jack and my dad grew up more like brothers than anything else.

Jack was quite the charmer who liked to describe himself as the black sheep of the family.  He was viewed as something of an adventurer.  He had already had two wives by the time he met Fran in the sixties.  But more of that another time.

For now I must get on with other things.  Fran and I coloured today.  I had gotten her one of those ‘adult colouring books’ for Christmas.  Not ADULT as is restricted but books designed for adults.  The newest kick seems to be that coloring is rather meditative and good for one’s stress and ability to focus.  In truth Fran colours only for a short time then we chat merrily while she watches me and gives me some advice about colours. I just wish I had been the one to think of calling a colouring book “for adults”, charging ten or twenty times the going rate of a child’s book and getting rich.

 

 

 

 

Ins and Outs, Ups and Downs Day 2

This year continues to feel like it will be exciting and wonderful though I have no grounds to suspect this except for a gut feeling.  It doesn’t mean  nothing is going wrong, because lots is, but there is a prevailing belief that whatever the problem it will be dealt with.

3 great whites by Tom Barwell

******I will download a pic of Miss Bree our yellow lab  for tomorrow

The family returned from Hawaii arriving on the doorstep at seven something a.m.  Pretty much as expected.  The three felines and one incorrigible canine seemed to sense their impending arrival about twenty four hours previously – their behaviour changed though I cannot really explain how.  They entered nicely tanned – my family not the animals-, happy and very tired after too many hours in the air.  It may have been seven a.m. but their body clocks said no no, it is two a.m.

They insisted on taking me out for breakfast brunch after which I hit the road, allowing them time to rest, rest and rest some more.  Yesterday I prepared a full turkey dinner with all the trimmings and had it on trays ready to easily heat up.  I had the tree lights on and a few presents under the tree, since they missed that whole thing in Maui.

I arrived home to Waterloo and left an hour later to go off and visit my auntie.  Since a group of us are determined to blog everyday for a year I think you will get to know Auntie Fran pretty well.  She was admitted to a nursing home in November and prior to my stay in Hamilton over the Christmas New Years Season I had seen her pretty much every day and I worried about her while I was gone.  But of course she was fine.  I had printed off a large sign and taped it up in her room saying Christine (that’s me) is in Hamilton for two weeks and will return on January 3rd.  I did get up to see her once on the 24th and seeing her one day early – to day – was for me at least a treat.  She has a most interesting story and you will hear it bit by bit.

Today I am also missing the wedding of a dear friend’s son.  I knew I would miss it since the wedding is in Winnipeg and I am in Ontario, but my thoughts are sure with them.