We Are The Way We are Because That Is The Way We Expect To Be or 7 Absolutes That Are Not

We Are The Way We are Because That Is The Way We Expect To Be or 7 Absolutes That Are Not

I have been kicking this idea around in my cranium for some time, trying, as it were, to get my head around it.  I mean people keep talking about it as though the statement is self-explanatory and really it is deep, convoluted and intricate.

My blogging friend Katherine Gordy Lewis found at http://emotionalfitnesstraining.com/2011/11/28/from-the-downhill-slope-75/ addressed one of ten brain myths published by Smithsonian.com found at 


Having read her blog and then the link, the troublesome thoughts I have about why we are the way we are resurfaced again.  It just seems to me our belief systems are screwed up because we choose to believe what others tell us.  For some reason “an official study shows” …leads to automatic acquiescence.

Now I can’t possibly ask you to automatically believe what The Smithsonian says also but do give some thought and listen to your own gut.  Maybe what we need to do is adopt a healthy old sixties questioning of everything and I mean everything.  

So what do I NOT believe?

1. Everyone needs 8 glasses of water a day?  No way – long ago disproved.

2. Hair and nails continue to grow after death?  Nope but I have a friend also a nurse who will not buy into the truth.

3.  Sugar makes kids hyper?  Disproved ages ago.  If your children misbehave and get all rangy it’s because you expect them to and children always live up to your expectations…and that is the truth!

4. Mobile phones are dangerous in hospital? Pulease!

5.  Two year olds should be in school?  A latest early education study and the public will probably let the politicians get away with it even though they have already said it will cost a fortune (which by the way was probably your formal notice on increased cost just incase you get a little irritated when they decide to up those old taxes)

6. Everyone should vote?  I believe everyone should have the right to vote but you also should have the right not to vote if you so wish.  If you have no understanding of the candidates or issues and are only going to guess, well that could be more damaging.  I do believe if you don’t vote you cannot or should not gripe about the kind of official you ended up with.

7. Bad parenting = bad children and good parenting = good children.  Let’s not confuse general rules as absolutes.

Well we are not going to hit 10 as I find making this list rather annoying and we haven’t even touched on government mind manipulation of official studies.

I think probably the biggest myth or misconception is that people we vote into power are all great minds or even average minds.

Hmm and we have not even gotten into the meat of the matter about why we are the way we are because that is the way we expect to be.

18 thoughts on “We Are The Way We are Because That Is The Way We Expect To Be or 7 Absolutes That Are Not”

  1. I love this post, Chris! Too damn funny–not that we should take your word on any of this, of course. Though I’ve not ever believed the 8 glasses of water thing–mostly because I’ve not gotten 8 in years, and I’m still hanging around this planet–thirsty but alive!

  2. that is so funny about the 8 glasses of water.. The study that started this rumour was made in the forties and they said that people needed eight glass of FLUIDS a day. This was taken up and typo-ed into 8 glasses of water. Though I do NOT count fizzy drinks they have caffeine which is actually a dieuretic, like coffee and tea, and yes i drink about 8 cups of coffee or tea every day, then a glass of wine, so i guess the wine counts .. ha ah aha.. bad bad bad
    I SHOULD drink more water, people who do have much better skin that I.. why are we the way we are.. How am I then? You will see me differently than the next guy and you also see me differently than how I see myself.. so maybe we should go all 60’s and say Who Am I Man?.. I need to Find Myself! Good post chris, it made me think! c

  3. Thank you for the ping-back and it is so difficult, isn’t it? Jerome Kagan, one of my Gurus, says beliefs are multi-determined. He sees the combination of personal experience and voices of authority as being strong factors, but also genetics, sibling order, who we identify with, what our parents and surrounding society expose us to including the historical era we live through as children and adolescents, and finally chance.

    I always valued the constant questioners when I was a manager. Where more helpful than the yes-people. One of my stances remains that if we didn’t have people the mental health gurus label as Oppostional Defiant, we would not have emerged from the trees or learned to use fire. The Myer Briggs studies show that about 15% of those tested are seen as Promethean–questioners. I am married to one and want to kill him at times, but am so grateful for the journey he has shared with me.

    Thank you again for all you are doing to help me stay strong.

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