Weddings, Cleanses, Trains, and Automobiles..No Planes Thank God!
You all know -well those of you who read me, the others won’t of course – that I have been completely, let me repeat that, completely laid back, calm, mellow, chilled, composed, placid, tranquil, serene, collected, loose, about this whole wedding thing coming up Saturday. And all without the aid of fermented distilled liquids or other aids.
For you dear folk that have inquired as to my cleansing attempt to appear perkier for the day….it was disaster! Within two days I noticed an increasing accumulation of fluid and the ‘belly fat” it promised to eliminate. Next day up four pounds! I quickly remedied that by enlisting the help of my good friend Senekot. Some may resort to the help of a personal trainer but Senekot is cheaper and quicker. I cut calories, worked out more and grew and grew and grew.
I got a dress far lovelier than I ever thought possible that fit in the store. I may have to wear an old robe and just carry it on the hanger as I walk down the aisle as Mother of the Groom. MOG. One dear blogging friend said that people would say, “that Chris, she is so MOGnanimous ” Now I fear they may say, “that Chris she is so huMONGous! Just kidding there – all is back to normal. The problem is I wanted better than normal. No glowing liver or colon to display. Probably better that way.
So did not sleep as panic stepped in to smack me upside the head last night. “You fool”, it said. “How dare you think you can sail through this unscathed by worry, stress, and fear”?
This morning bought train tickets for sis, Aunt and me.
This morning printed off hotel confirmations for sis, Aunt and me and made one more reservation for another.
Bought the wine for the rehearsal party and had it delivered.
Still must do haircut, manicure, get silky undies…since my innards are no longer worth displaying.
My credit cards are creaking from mounting costs but not yet broken. (Hang on babies just til Monday). Am hosting breakfast the morning after at the King Eddy so Monday it must be.
So:
Cost of wedding prep……………………………………………mucho dinero
Cost of panic, fear, stress, worry, sleeplessness, panic again……………………………………………………………………priceless
bridgesburning 
You say you are tranquil without the aid of fermented distilled liquids, but maybe you should still give them a try and see where that takes you. You might attain a whole new level of tranquil.
The fruit of the vine was very nice…the Chivas just about did me in!
The upside about the sleeplessness is that you’ll have more time to blog. There’s are at least two people more nervous than you so don’t worry, you’ll be great – as long as there’s no sMOG 😉
Yes I really should make more use of my non sleep time! I am still wordless on MOG…glad I have you to give it that twist!
I’ve heard horror stories of “cleansing attempts” glad yours ended in time
Yes it was pretty mild…and a silly thing to try right before the wedding!
Congratulations, MOG! It’s about to be O-V-E-R!
Senekot…geez, that stuff rips me to pieces! I’d spend the whole ceremony in the loo.
Awaiting stories. Bound to be some!
Well I only took it once and it was okay..would never do it right before the wedding though! 🙂
I’m impressed at your resourcefulness, and your tranquility. Are you going to post a picture of your fascinator? (you *are* wearing one, right?)
A fascinator is not in the picture…brides MOM isn’t therefore my collection will remain at home!
At least you’re planning on going sober- thus far. I fear that Spouse will have to be medicated and propped up by his best friend when our Offspring undertake the nuptials. It’s the only way I can imagine not have the ceremony disrupted by his sobbing and pleas for the engaged couple to move close to home. Heaven help us.
Yes sober is the order of the day…but may not last the WHOLE day! 🙂
Hi there. I wasn’t very involved in the planning of my son’s wedding. But..the day before the wedding we went to look at the reception venue (the wedding was in the other island). My reaction was ‘my son can’t celebrate his wedding here’ which elicited a response from son and husband ‘wait until you see it tomorrow’ and ‘you are not organizing this’. On the day everything was great.
So continue being laid back – extra vino is always good. And take the senakot up until Friday – not on Saturday of course.
Cheers
Judith
Yes Judith will be careful with the Senekot. The wedding and reception is in a very old Victorian type hall so it will be lovely. By Thursday all will be ready!
You know, I am REALLY looking forward to the posts as the wedding draws even closer. And of course the posts about the wedding its self. AND just curious……who is going to see all the fancy under things????? 🙂
Now that’s a very good question..am rooming with my sis 😦 but will have to see what kind of talent the other side brings in! 🙂
Oh gosh, I’m just glad there was no maMOGraphy involved in that cleanse.
Wedding robe – I want one. LOL
Hahaha hopefully the robe will not be required LOL! Darn wish I could think of a MOG word..nuts!
hilarious I say!
Hilarious will do..disastrous will not 🙂