Oh The Plots We Weave: A Normal Guy and a Smart Guy ..Oh and Eating Crow

Oh the Plots We Weave

Mondays are Plot days.  Stories from the press with a few ‘whys’ and ‘what ifs’  which could be the makings of a possible story line.  A bit of creative brain exercise.  Yes I know this is Tuesday but since the last few days have been spent with my Scots Cuz Rachael and other family members, ‘making merry’ as Bob Cratchit would say, I have seen neither newspaper or telecasts.

So today’s ‘What ifs’ are really one line from two different stories, one last week and one from ages ago that I tucked into my grey matter for future use and wonders of wonders was able to extract.

The first was a headline in our local rag; MAN ACCUSED OF ARSON AND MURDER A NORMAL GUY.  Huh????  For some reason the press decided to lead with a statement from the accused’s brother.  Being a wordsmith my response remains ‘Huh”?????  I mean I suppose there are some possible ‘what ifs’ but geez (wordsmithing again) they pretty  much only extend to alien or evil possession and that story has been told time and time again.

The other line from a past story concerned a man whose office was relocated to a very high newly constructed building.  Some of the office staff were apprehensive about safety issues.  The man said he would show them how safe it was and launched himself against the plate glass which promptly broke and he fell to his death.  The statement in the article was, “He was a very smart man.”

I’m sure he was but the statement begs another big ‘Huh’???? I am not sure I can even come up with a what if for this one.  Can you?

Have you witnessed or read anything in the last week that got your mind churning with ‘what ifs’.  They are all around us just waiting to be snapped up.  My hero Stephen King does it all the time.

Now for that less than delectable lunch of crow:

My sibs and I are very close and really like each other.  My brother Keith who is less than a year younger than I is more like me than not.  At least that is what his wife says.  I have always placed my brothers on well deserved pedestals, but there is one specific situation in which we clash.  It has now happened twice in the last two years now.

Here is the scene:  five people are driving in a car to a specific location.  The same location as two years ago.  Our destination is in an area I frequently drive through.  He does not.  I am sitting in the back.

Me:  Keith what route are you taking?

K: 52

Me and my sis in unison:  FIFTY-TWO??????

Through further dialogue not necessary to record here he finally goes my suggested route.  Once we arrive at our destination he madly drives first down one road and then down another until he in fact finds 52.  Not a word is said as we proceed back to our target.  When we leave at evening’s end he quickly heads down the road to 52.  Nary a word is spoken by me.  Somewhere in the conversation earlier he said something to my cuz in the front seat about not having duct tape when you need it.

Okay here comes the Crow eating. Ahem (clearing throat).

Dear Brother,  whilst my directions did get us there I have to confess openly, and generously, and modestly, that left to your own devices you would have reached your destination just fine.

PS (not for Keith’s eyes) I still could have gotten us there more directly.

PPS Next time I shall supply the duct tape and apply it to myself prior to launch.

PPPS I just love how magnaminous I am!

PPPPS I guess 2 head-ons in 2 years isn’t so bad.

***It is highly unlikely that my brother will not read this as he does not read my blogs.  However there is a chance my cuz may.

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