The Groom Wore Chains – Its Stahl Ave Again

English: The logo of the of Singapore.

English: The logo of the of Singapore. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Singapore Sling for me-1=

Singapore Sling for me-1= (Photo credit: Sheba_Also)

This past Saturday I attended a wonderful cocktail party to celebrate the upcoming nuptials of a couple who will do the actual deed in Singapore on December 21, 2012.  Celebrations by our family for decades, certainly since the 50’s (my memory span) have centered on the the joys of marriage and self congratulatory acclaim on the longevity of said unions – for those able to claim the longevity thing that is.

Now this party was the howdeedoo of welcoming a couple into that hallowed state of union since none of us present could get to Singapore itself, and since we were unable to attend, the host and hostess decided to do a solemn ceremony honoring the young couple.  The performance of said ceremony was a surprise not only for the couple but all the attendees.

Singapore Slings, the signature libation of the evening, complete with other drinks of choice got the party started.  Hors d’oeuvres of every imaginable delicious sort were provided through out the evening and of course the cake – can’t possibly party without cake.

The poor couple must have been asked at least twenty times what a traditional Singapore wedding entailed and finally resorted to saying they would keep us informed each step of the way as it involves a number of ceremonies.  Also in attendance was my world traveling nephew who had spent most of that last two years traveling Africa with his wife who traveled to 347 cities in 30 countries on their own personal mission for Wisdom Exchange TV and here for their Ignite Excellence site.  More on that another post!

Anyway back to the solemn ceremony.  Well it wasn’t too solemn as all mock weddings should shun solemnity.  The bride to be was whisked upstairs to be dressed in style and the groom was given a bow tie and chains for his ankles. (I just need a moment here as Johnny Cash sings…I got stripes around my shoulder I got chains around my feet)…..ahh that’s better.

Dec 3 12 031My  brother dressed all preacher like sporting a carnivore bbq apron, knitted hat and other accoutrements not at all related to marital bestowment read from a book on golf as lessons for marriage.  (He himself being wed for more that 45 years can be considered an expert.)

Aside from side splitting raucous laughter and mighty cheers this event took me back half a century when mock weddings were played out at regular times on Stahl Avenue.

During the second World War my grandparents bought one of those big two story homes with large front, back and upper deck porches.  It was the central meeting point at least each Friday when all the aunts, uncles, cousins and other ne’er do wells congregated for an evening of merriment.  It was the place we each took new dates to meet all and it was the centre for mock weddings.  It became customary that my parents and uncles and aunts had to celebrate the 15th wedding anniversary and the 25th in style.

This meant using curtains, lamp shades, quilts and anything else at hand to dress the bride and groom.  My uncle Dick usually was the minister and my grandfather hauled out his shotgun to oversee events and make sure the groom did not make a run for it.  My more talented cousins danced, sang or played the violin and guitar.

As children watching adults convulsing in laughter and delighting in the jokes we all grew up with what some might consider a rather warped sense of humour.

Saturday past was not special just because of the events, the celebrations, but because for a short time during the ceremony and the cutting of the cake I thought I caught from the corner of my eye other generations long gone now swirling around the room and laughing and cheering.  For just one moment they were all with us.

Okay! Really? I Swear I Left..

I am the first to admit I am behind the times.  For a very long time in my life I was able to pretend I understood or knew things.  So first of all today I discovered an easier way to read comments from WordPress (which really is much easier than reading my emails), which was a plus.  This is a good thing.

Not such a good thing is the time I decided to spend on Facebook to answer birthday wishes.  (Other than that my Facebook is a pretty quiet site). So what do I find?

Messages that you would find on a dating site.  For a couple – will maybe a few – years I went on dating sites such as Plenty of Fish and one other I can’t quite remember.  I do know I tried Eharmony and that was a total rip off. To sign up you have to give your credit card info then they tell you that if you click on a particular link they will not renew it…liars they are as they kept renewing without permission..but that is beside the point.

The point is I have not done the dating sites for several years. (Not to put such sites down as I made new friends that will last forever though no partner), but I went to my Facebook and there was under Messages  “other” several from it seems people looking to link up.

Now I have pretty much outgrown this whole on site dating thing.  So where does it come from?  Are all of you finding the same thing?  I think Facebook is wonderful but really..this???

Junking The Post

Junking the Post

I wrote a post earlier today about indecision being the greatest time waster of all.  Then I junked it having judged it as being neither witty nor delightful.  Instead it was kind of whiny and negative about all I have not done, have not achieved, not, not, not.  Then I read a few of your posts and chatted to some folk.  Then I thought about all that and quickly gave myself a good swift kick.  You know the kind that rattles your teeth and shakes up the stagnant gray matter pieces that are supposed to be servicing me with intellect and talent?

I love it when I have wisdom to share and am a little pouty that when I need some it is absent, no doubt hanging around some naturally brighter brain than mine – if in fact wisdom is a brain thing and there is NO way I am getting into that discussion today.

If I were wise I would tell the young man whose life appears to be shit right now that while fecal agitation can be a good thing now and then, to look at every aspect of his life he is complaining about and think long and hard about the positive parts he is forgetting about and focus on those.  I would tell him to imagine for a moment that he lost everything he hates right now.  Everything and everyone that irritates and angers him is gone.  None of it is here anymore.  Is that better?  Don Henley sang, “..an angry man can only get so far until he reconciles the way he thinks things ought to be with the way things are..”

Anger, I believe comes from fear and fear I can understand.  Fear stops me from being my best and following my dreams but having recognized it (the fear) I figure I can still win.  Anger also comes from carrying someone else’s cross and giving others power over you.  You can’t change others only yourself.  You don’t have to take back your power, it was always yours.  You just have to realize that.

Does that mean never be angry, never be fearful?  Of course not, just put it where it belongs.  Just like you should never ever supersize your fries, don’t supersize your fear or anger. Don’t let it be your primary feeling.  Others feel it just by seeing you or hearing you and then they become angry or afraid, or they withdraw from you to protect themselves.  If you live in anger you live alone and angrier than ever.  Anger/fear will destroy your business, friendships, family.

If I were wise I could tell you how to stop, how to get off this negative track but that wisdom is beyond me.  It is something I know, but I do not have the right words to make you feel it.

If I were wise I would tell another young man who has no anger but accepts the shit life deals him that it doesn’t have to be that way.  We are what we think, our thoughts.  Yes unfortunate and downright terrible things happen and we can accept that they do happen but we don’t have to believe that we deserve what we get.  We need to believe that we deserve better and will have better.  The theory is that we get what we believe we deserve or will get.  I can buy into that because I have experienced it firsthand.   I also know that true belief is not easy to get.  It seems easy once you have it but it is like a switch that just goes off and again I do not have the wisdom to tell you how to get it.  All I can do is tell you it does exist.  I can give you books to read, experts to consult, but if you are not ready or willing it will come to nought.

And if you are one of the lucky ones you may even have wisdom.

Here Comes the Bride..uh..Mother of the Groom!

They say the wedding day is all about the bride and this certainly is true especially
when I am the bride.  (Don’t even ask).  Good fortune is having people around who love
you no matter what and the no matter what can be the MOG (Mother of the Groom)
who was her own shining star in The Wedding of the Year.  It was a good thing that William and Kate got their tawdry little affair over in April to clear the decks for The Wedding.  Well I should correct any misunderstanding here – I loved the Royal Wedding and as some of you may recall my sister who lived in the same apartment building as I showed up on my doorstep at 5:30 in the morning, in her pajamas with sleep tousled hair and a homemade at-the-last -moment Fascinator.  It was fascinating and almost as much fun as being there!  And dear William and Kate, who I encourage to call me Mummy, are a delight.  So without putting down their attempts at putting on the dog as it were I shall just bask in the glory of my moment. Uh I mean the bride’s moment.  It’s a darn good thing my daughter-in-law has a terrific sense of humor – actually both DILs do which is probably why we get along so well and they have a high tolerance level for moi.

So having promised pics many moons ago and just having received them a few days ago I
thought I better get posting as some of you, my blogging friends, have a very long memory.

The Groom and Mommy I raised this child just for this moment!

 

Not all my exes live in Texas..Son's Dad

 

light hearted and fun lotsa laughs

 

Two Brothers My Sons

 

The Groom, The Radiant Bride and her Father

 

 

 

5 Minutes of Grateful for the Gypsy Mama

Five minute Fridays are always fun and today Mama has asked for thoughts on ‘Grateful”

5 Minutes of Grateful For the Gypsy Mama

 

I am:

 

Grateful for the words I read each day,

Posted by others struggling to say

A message, of love, of thought, of angst

Shared so we stand not alone but as one.

 

A collective of thought, a collection

Of words and feelings, a connection

Binding our souls and minds as one

All facets of a precious stone.

 

Times up!

AND THEN….

Well what happened next?

Just after I finished my previous blog on my ditziness of the day, I started to pack up my things and head home.  I had come to my fav Williams Coffee Pub to write, hoping the change in environment would reset my universal flow button.  It did not.  BUT.

As I was about to leave a young couple sat down across from me.  Probably in their twenties… both really really good looking.
Anyway I noticed as I was putting on my jacket that she was nudging his leg under the table with her foot.  I thought that was so cutesy. THEN he sits back with a cocky look on his face and says…”So we have some issues and are we going to deal with them or not deal with them?”. AND he has such a smirk on his face because he has total control.  She is trying to be loving and seductive with the old foot trick and he knows he can make her feel awful.  She is contrite and he is….”so I did some things, and I said some things..you have to decide if you can live with that.”

Oh I peeled that jacket off so fast!  I wanna see how this plays out.
I am seated so I have a full view of him and only back and side of her.  He talks, eats, moves a round in his chair but..never never looks directly at her, just very quick rare glances. gauging her reaction to each of his boastful claims.  I think he just wants to be sure he is retaining control.  He keeps looking out the windows as if he would rather be anywhere but here.

God she is so gorgeous-why is she putting up with this?

She is talking now trying to work things out.  He is now looking directly out the window while she speaks and then down at his plate. Now he is responding with short sentences and still not looking at her.

He is still ignoring her while she talks and now she is back to stroking his leg under the table with her foot!  With no favorable response from him she has returned her foot to a neutral position.

Everything in me is screaming STUPID ALERT, STUPID ALERT,  Call out the dogs!!! man the guns!!! Danger!!! danger!!!

Would I have wanted someone to intervene when that was me years ago..and it was me..  Okay he has put on his coat and she has not…should I say something to her??  Should I?

Now He has reaches out to gently touch her fingers and gaze in her eyes.  To her credit she just picked up her sandwich in both hands..nuts and is putting her coat on also now.  Phew they both left ..sigh ..that removes my tough decision on intervention.

Thank God one of my blogging heroes, Joss at crowingcrone just wrote this morning about letting others make their own decisions and it was the first blog I read.  Thank you Joss it kept me on the straight and narrow..and appropriate!

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