Weddings, Cleanses, Trains, and Automobiles..No Planes Thank God!

Weddings, Cleanses, Trains, and Automobiles..No Planes Thank God!
 

Planes not..trains and autos yes
You all know -well those of you who read me, the others won’t of course – that I have been completely, let me repeat that, completely laid back, calm, mellow, chilled, composed, placid, tranquil, serene, collected, loose, about this whole wedding thing coming up Saturday. And all without the aid of fermented distilled liquids or other aids.

Vino

 
For you dear folk that have inquired as to my cleansing attempt to appear perkier for the day….it was disaster! Within two days I noticed an increasing accumulation of fluid and the ‘belly fat” it promised to eliminate. Next day up four pounds! I quickly remedied that by enlisting the help of my good friend Senekot. Some may resort to the help of a personal trainer but Senekot is cheaper and quicker. I cut calories, worked out more and grew and grew and grew.
 
I got a dress far lovelier than I ever thought possible that fit in the store. I may have to wear an old robe and just carry it on the hanger as I walk down the aisle as Mother of the Groom. MOG. One dear blogging friend said that people would say, “that Chris, she is so MOGnanimous ” Now I fear they may say, “that Chris she is so huMONGous! Just kidding there – all is back to normal. The problem is I wanted better than normal. No glowing liver or colon to display. Probably better that way.
 

Wedding Robe

So did not sleep as panic stepped in to smack me upside the head last night. “You fool”, it said. “How dare you think you can sail through this unscathed by worry, stress, and fear”?

Away I say!

 
This morning bought train tickets for sis, Aunt and me.
This morning printed off hotel confirmations for sis, Aunt and me and made one more reservation for another.
Bought the wine for the rehearsal party and had it delivered.
 
Still must do haircut, manicure, get silky undies…since my innards are no longer worth displaying.
 
My credit cards are creaking from mounting costs but not yet broken. (Hang on babies just til Monday). Am hosting breakfast the morning after at the King Eddy so Monday it must be.
 
So:
Cost of wedding prep……………………………………………mucho dinero
Cost of panic, fear, stress, worry, sleeplessness, panic again……………………………………………………………………priceless

MOG…Fascinators…Detox..Dress..Oh, No Dress..Rehearsal Party

MOG.. Fascinators…Detox…Dresses…oh, no dress..Rehearsal Party
 
My good blogging friend Merrilymarylee@wordpress.com messaged me, surprised somewhat that with eleven days to go to the Real Royal Wedding, I am still blogging merrily away. Well actually she is merrily doing things by virtue of her moniker. I guess that means I am burning…a..bridge ..or two…ss we most likely live up to our names. Or I like to think we do.
 
That got me thinking that perhaps I should do a little checklist to see how ready I am. Something tells me I should look at priorities first. And I would if I could figure out what they are.
 
Oh yes..

Fascinating Fascinator? Not

First – the fascinator issue. The guests of the OTHER Royal family certainly made a statement and it will be interesting to see if anyone dares don dinky headwear. Although judging by some, are you listening Beatrice, not so dinky and not so frivolous. After consulting the MOB ( that’s Mother of the Bride not the real MOB with guns and fedoras), we, the royal Mums will not be so adorned. Instead we shall be resplendent in our God given growing out of follicles, nature’s own. I believe she will visit a salon while this Queen Mum will wear a style nest described as what ever my hair wants so it will be. 
 

Detox Not

Second – Detox. Something that promised to perk me up, cleanse the systems liver and colon. Geez, stopped after four days. Gained four pounds and definitely not perky. Darned probiotics. Now working on getting rid of those effects!
 
Dress – Still haven’t got one but after the cleanse effect have decided to cave on the ‘I will never wear a Spanx’ issue. So will get one of those. Spanks yes. Dress, hopefully!
 
Rehearsal Party – as MOG I host this little soiree. Tried to get a caterer who did not return by calls or emails. The affair is in Toronto and I am not. The MOB, not the Mob with guns and fedoras, the other one came up with a fab idea so is helping.
 
Just have to get train tickets for sis, me and auntie and then looks like I am done
 
Yup, I have lots of time to blog. Come to think of it I guess if it was my wedding would still have time to blog?
 
The only thing left on my list for this Royal Wedding is…to HAVE FUN!
 

My dress Not

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