Five Minute Friday; The Gypsy Mama; Good-Bye

Around here we write for five minutes flat on Fridays.

We set a timer, throw caution to the winds and try to remember what it was like to just write without worrying if it’s just right or not.

Want to play Five Minute Friday? It’s easy peasy!

1. Write for 5 minutes flat on the prompt- no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking

2. Link back here and invite others to join in.

3. Meet & encourage someone who linked up before you.

OK, are you ready? Give us your best five minutes on:  GOOD-BYE

There are so many ways to talk about good-bye since there are so many good-byes in life;  people, situations, pets, sanity (at times) and sadly youth.  Since I prefer to look at that which is different my first thought this morning was youth/change or the lack thereof.

People talk about aging gracefully, about vibrancy, about forty being the new thirty and sixty being the new forty.  Yesterday I kept a four year old busy for the day.  Outside.  In a park.  I raced, fought with light sabers (he was Anakin and I was Luke Skywalker).  You are my son he intoned throughout the day.  And occassionally he would warn me that while he was currently Annakin he would soon be going over to the dark side and become Darth Vader.  We slid on slides and swung on swings.  Did I mention we raced? This morning my body feels like it has been hit by a truck of large proportions.

There are many things we say good-bye to as we age.  I worked for many years in Long Term Care so I knew….goodbye to independence in many things.  Good-bye to night driving vision.  Good-bye to leaping like a gazelle (I am sure I did at one time), good-bye to standing up from a seated position and being able to move immediately.  Good-bye gentle thoughts on aging gracefully.  Good-bye to firm young skin and strong limbs.

But mostly, good-bye to changeability or the ability to change with little muss or fuss.

Oops times up!

Measuring Success

Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom. – General George Patton.

I’ve been thinking about challenges lately, overcoming challenges, and what success is. What is a successful person? What is success? That got me wondering about how to measure success. There are a multitude of companies out there who make their success by talking about the measurement of success, and really that is all you can do – talk about it. They purport to motivate, help you define your own meaning of success, and as the presentations are paid for by the company you work for, usually to meet the company’s definition of success.

There are all kinds of tools out there to help you measure, to help you know that yes you are or are not successful. I’m thinking that the only way true way is not by measurement of any sort but by feeling. I’m thinking that success is immeasurable.

We, I, look at someone else and say, “That person is successful.” But when you speak to that person, he or she may not perceive being successful. Is success being satisfied with what you have rather than striving for something you do not have? Are we being deceived for the purpose of gain to believe that we must want, that we should strive?

I have always thought of Demi Moore as successful, someone whose work I admire (although I do acknowledge it is easy to confuse the actor with the character). She would say, I think, she is unsuccessful because her want is unsatisfied. How do we know that? She said, “What scares me is that I’m going to ultimately find out at the end of my life that I’m really not loveable.”

Even if you concede that success is something defined by each person the measurement of success is still feeling and not really measurable at all. Suppose your definition is money. Suppose you have eighty percent of the world’s money but are still not satisfied. It is not the acquisition of money, it is the feeling that it is enough.

Yup I’m thinking success is a feeling and no number of charts, written goals or affirmations can define success.
Feel it. Be it. Don’t measure it by someone else’s yard stick.

A Proclamation of Love, A Declaration of Intent

My ever entertaining 3 year old G2 is telling all who will listen he is going to marry Mommy.  To prepare for said nuptuals he is brushing his teeth at least three times a day, more if he could get away with it.  Today he asked for his shaving kit, a child’s Christmas toy he received complete with cream, razor, mirror and brush and proceeded to spruce himself up.  The same goes for hair combing.

He adores his Mom, her blue eyes, long blonde hair..she is perfect.  Previous to this his affections were reserved for Ariel the Mermaid and then Rapunsel all of whom have long hair.

He first mentioned his intent yesterday and I replied that it was a wonderful idea.  This morning he mentioned it again, watching me closely for my reaction.  Again I told him that was wonderful.  Then he said, “I told my Daddy and Daddy said ‘no’ that Mommy is his.  But I am going to marry her.”  He is pleased that Daddy seems on board with the idea now.

In addition it has become a training tool in matters so far unsuccessful.  He has developed an attachment to his soother lately.  Today Daddy told him to put it away and when he firmly replied, “No”, Daddy said he didn’t think Mommy would want to marry anyone with a soother.

“Fine,” he said and promptly deposited it in the kitchen.  Now if we can just use this to ensure number 2 is properly looked after.

I remember both my sons at the same age deciding they were going to marry Mommy.  Then at about 8 they felt it necessary to assure me that,”Mommy, I will live with you forever.”  And that is exactly where G1 is at that exact age.

Ah the purity and sincerity of youth.  I love it!

Laid Low By Fibro Major Flare Up #1 2012

Apologies all.  I had some rather witty things to say today regarding cheek bones but have encountered major flare up from old friend who I conquered years ago but drops in to let me know I am still vulnerable now and then. There are measures but like any super hero – must retreat to Bat Cave, Ice Palace etc etc to recharge.  Energy very low pain high ..off to rest 100%.  My doc reminds me that for as bad as a flare up can be for me I do recover while somewith Fibro live like this always.

Please drop in and see my friend Joss Burnel at crowingcrone.wordpress.com. and link upto her. B.E.W.E.L.L. site.  Joss is our resident expert on Fibro and just published a great book on the subject.

Like the Phoenix I shall rise again…..confirmed size effect..drama!

Don’t Tell, Replace, Tune Out

I have been trying to listen.  Really listen.  To me.  Trying to solve some things, find answers to questions that niggle, which when used as a verb means to cause slight but persistent annoyance.  Yes I want persistence but not of the annoying kind.

I have mentioned more than once that the greatest wisdom and insight this poor mind has is during those moments when I am almost fully awake in the early morning but have not opened my eyes yet or changed position.  Either of those two seems to be enough to dissapate whatever world shaking news my secret self was about to share with the struggling conscious me.

DON’T TELL

So this morning something different occurred.  Well a couple of different things.  The first was that when I had a clear detailed dream I made myself question things as they happened.  I remember seeing a primary character in my story or at least something representative of him and then it shifted deeper into the background and layers of walls and blocks one by one slid in front of it.  I questioned, for the first time in this kind of dream ‘why’?  Why, when the answer is so clear would it be muddied by layers that are going to have to be taken off one by one?

The question alone presented the answer.  I was in awe of the depth and complexity of my character, who although not a good person is quickly becoming my favorite.  When he first revealed himself to me it was in layers and I felt like it was a journey of discovery and got so excited that I wanted to portray that immediately.  But of course!  I should not blow his cover, as it were, to you any quicker than he is ready to reveal himself.  That’s the key to the story.  Any story!  I was just so excited at figuring this guy out..what motivated him to do what he did…the journey that made him who he is in the present…I just wanted to blab it all out. HA Go figure.

REPLACE

This is something else that came to me in those few minutes I am starting to call the Wisdom Moments.  (And by the way, I remembered what I needed by refusing to open my eyes until I committed key words to memory, reciting them again and again, as I swear it is like Fort Knox and once I am truly awake the doors slam shut and the gates are lowered.)Somehow it was connected with the dream but the message was ‘Replace’.

You see I have been struggling with a couple of issues I want to change but the thought of perhaps a little discomfort in doing so sort of put me off.  How could I make the change successfully?  Both are habits.  One is that every night I have a drink  of Scotch, or two.  Now the fact is that I believe in the benefits of a daily sip, but I am annoyed that there seems to be an internal clock and click, at six, pour drink.  I fully support imbibing it is just the every day ritual I dislike.  Actually last week I made it a point not to partake and felt pretty good all week.  It wasn’t the discomfort of not having a drink, but that niggle again, you know the persistent annoyance of changing a habit.  And it renders me less creative because then my mind goes into  holiday mode – R&R.

So in the spirit of ‘Replace’ I shall replace that with beer….NO NO…just kidding..a nice cuppa tea like Mom used to make with cream and sugar.  Perhaps I will pick up some 18% cream for that once a day treat.  Now that I can look forward to.

The other issue is so secret I hate to say it but…my grandson thinks I quit smoking a long time ago and the only safe time for me to have one is late at night when he is in bed.  SHHH!  First of all I hate sneaking around.  What am I?  The child here?  Secondly I hate lying to him.  Deceiving him.  So soon as this is posted on goes The Patch.  The shame is not in the smoking, I support those who wish to smoke, the shame for me is in the deceit.  I considered being truthful with him and telling him to get used to it, he’s not the boss of me.. but I think I just don’t care to pursue this particular avenue of self destruction right now.  Not worth my time or money and it actually is interfering in my creativity since I have to pop outside to do the deed.

TUNE OUT

This advice did not come from within, beyond or anywhere except my email.  Once I woke, wrote down the key words I needed, I checked my stats and emails for all your posts.  Being Gemini this is part of what it said – (and no before you even think to ask I do not plan or live my life according to said scope, but it is amusing) – You need some peace and quiet.  Don’t even pick up a newspaper – try to not even think!  Just tune out and take care of yourself.

Nuts I just get this thinking thing down and now…..well too late for today.  I’ll have to try and not think tomorrow!  Have a wonderful day all!

Beyonce JZ New Baby..YuuuCh

I am so sick of overly rich people adoring their new borns.  Even Jennifer Garner who I have admired says she will do anything for the happiness of her children.  Excuse me but that turns my old age stomach.  Life, and I don’t care how rich you are, is not easy and children should,in my opinion, be taught that it is hard, something to be conquered.  Instead the new young are being taught they are adored, and will grow to believe the world owes them something, and by God they will throw a tantrum until they get it.

For some reason, far beyond my ken, life is meant to be hard, I don’t know why but it is.  I don’t care if you believe in fate, the now of it all, or nothing at all.  Life is hard.  And if you think that parents who give all to their young on a silver platter, and constantly tell them…you are wonderful, you are magic, you are the be all and end all…well all I can say there is much disappointment waiting beyond tomorrow.

There are lessons to be learned.  Forget the silver platters because when it comes down to the nuts and bolts of it all..well there are just nuts and bolts.

What have you taught your children today?   What will they remember?

It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Chris…Chris..Chris

 

It’s Beginning To LookA Lot Like Chris…Chris..Chris


So here’s the scoop..after a tiring week by all, as all weeks should be, in anticipation of a smashing weekend full of festivity and shopping I made my way back to Kitchener on Friday…early on Friday arriving at oneish.  Lunch with my best friends sis and sis in law, chatting the afternoon away then out to Kelsey’s for fish and chips dinner.  I categorically do not like fish and chips but theirs is wonderful.
Home post dinner for a short restful evening, a good nights sleep then a day of shopping, visiting, topped off by our annual brothers and sisters Christmas dinner
Suddenly at 9pm I felt the need to call dear old auntie Fran to set up lunch with her.  After many rings a clearly incoherent elderly woman answers.  I abandon my glass of Pinot Grigio, sis drops her glass of rum and coke and we race off to aunties.
I have keys to her apartment but alas they are in Hamilton.  Someone lets us in this secure building and we head off to the 10th floor sis bruising knuckles knocking, place a call to sis number three to come over with her keys and I race down to the super’s apartment to let us in.
On entry find auntie barely conscious, dial 911, try to keep her awake.  We figure it is probably hypoglycemia, but she has been ill so follow emergency’s instructions not to give her anything to drink.
Ambulance arrives and the next hour and a half spent trying to get her blood sugar up which finally happens almost to an astounding normal of 4.4 and parameds leave.  She seems better, others must go and I also tired I could lay on the floor to sleep.  We get in the elevator to leave but I have to return, she has been I’ll after all.
Long long long night and good thing I stayed.  She has trouble with her cough and breathing so I get her ventolin from kitchen.  Breathing easier but still restless.
Finally at 6:50am she falls asleep.  By 9 I let her know I have to go sleep.  Family will be here shortly to do Christmas baking.  Sis is at work til 3 but I am supposed to go visit sis in law at noon.
Have left a note for the bakers that I am sleeping but not to worry about noise. Will try to get a couple of hours..have set alarm.  Sis left her cell at home so cannot let her know updates.
Am soooooo tired but not sure I can sleep.   I expect that one drink at dinner party tonight will render me..well…will see.
That’s it for now. Hope y’all have a wonderful day.

Sitting in Emerg on a Fine Sunday..

Sitting in Emerg on a Fine Sunday Afternoon

Here I am in a crowded emergency department giving thanks yet again to the Ministry of Health and Long Term Care.  It is just past noon and I have brought my sister in.  We have this excellent system- in theory – where someone comes in the door, prints off a computerized form which has a number on it and then is seen by a triage nurse for assessment.  Smooth huh?

So we get here at noon. On entry sisthepatient gets the form, fills it out and sits.  She has number thirty-one.  There is no triage nurse present.  Perhaps they are on lunch. Looking around I see two other patients also clutching the registration form.  Seems the system has a glitch..already.  We also notice that one gent says this is a follow up visit to yesterday.  So this is looking more like a regular doctor’s office..certainly not an emergency.  Kay that explains the slow pace of everything.  No emergency in site.  Anywhere.  I wonder where real emergencies go?  Actually sisthepatient has the potential for a real emergency.

About two and half hours ago we sat down at our fav Williams with a latte. I was looking at a head line about Charlie Sheen and was relating info to sisthepatient when she said, “Now that’s not right.”

I thought she meant with Charlie.  But she meant with herself. Seems she was experiencing sudden vision problems.  Now being a nurse I told her I had to take her immediately to emerge.  Now being my sister she insisted on going home and calling her doctor.  He told her to go emergency immediately as it could indicate detached retina with possible profound sight loss.  Profound equals blind in this case.

So here we are at the non emergency emergency department.  It took thirty-five minutes to be seen by the triage nurse.  Then registration.  Ah at last recognition!  We were escorted immediately to a smaller waiting area close to the eye examination room and told it would just be a few minutes as there was a patient in there. That was almost ninety minutes ago and while typing these words sisthepatient has been called in. Is it too early to cheer?

I can’t remember the last time I saw a nurse in any ER break a sweat or even appear to have that air of efficiency.  Everything and everybody is just way too relaxed.  The concerning part is that had this been a true emergency there would have been no one to do anything about it.

While we sat attentionless I did suggest that my sis should teach them a lesson and go blind in that eye while she sat here.  She was less than enthusiastic about that. But I am pretty sure it might have gotten us prompt attention.  

Actually in all fairness today is galloping along quickly.  A few weeks ago one chap I know who had a broken foot was here for twelve hours before a doctor saw him.  My friend is ninety-two and in that twelve hours he received no nutrition or fluids.  And he actually came in by ambulance which should have gotten him preferential treatment.

Customer Service…my eye…

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