Don’t Tell, Replace, Tune Out

I have been trying to listen.  Really listen.  To me.  Trying to solve some things, find answers to questions that niggle, which when used as a verb means to cause slight but persistent annoyance.  Yes I want persistence but not of the annoying kind.

I have mentioned more than once that the greatest wisdom and insight this poor mind has is during those moments when I am almost fully awake in the early morning but have not opened my eyes yet or changed position.  Either of those two seems to be enough to dissapate whatever world shaking news my secret self was about to share with the struggling conscious me.

DON’T TELL

So this morning something different occurred.  Well a couple of different things.  The first was that when I had a clear detailed dream I made myself question things as they happened.  I remember seeing a primary character in my story or at least something representative of him and then it shifted deeper into the background and layers of walls and blocks one by one slid in front of it.  I questioned, for the first time in this kind of dream ‘why’?  Why, when the answer is so clear would it be muddied by layers that are going to have to be taken off one by one?

The question alone presented the answer.  I was in awe of the depth and complexity of my character, who although not a good person is quickly becoming my favorite.  When he first revealed himself to me it was in layers and I felt like it was a journey of discovery and got so excited that I wanted to portray that immediately.  But of course!  I should not blow his cover, as it were, to you any quicker than he is ready to reveal himself.  That’s the key to the story.  Any story!  I was just so excited at figuring this guy out..what motivated him to do what he did…the journey that made him who he is in the present…I just wanted to blab it all out. HA Go figure.

REPLACE

This is something else that came to me in those few minutes I am starting to call the Wisdom Moments.  (And by the way, I remembered what I needed by refusing to open my eyes until I committed key words to memory, reciting them again and again, as I swear it is like Fort Knox and once I am truly awake the doors slam shut and the gates are lowered.)Somehow it was connected with the dream but the message was ‘Replace’.

You see I have been struggling with a couple of issues I want to change but the thought of perhaps a little discomfort in doing so sort of put me off.  How could I make the change successfully?  Both are habits.  One is that every night I have a drink  of Scotch, or two.  Now the fact is that I believe in the benefits of a daily sip, but I am annoyed that there seems to be an internal clock and click, at six, pour drink.  I fully support imbibing it is just the every day ritual I dislike.  Actually last week I made it a point not to partake and felt pretty good all week.  It wasn’t the discomfort of not having a drink, but that niggle again, you know the persistent annoyance of changing a habit.  And it renders me less creative because then my mind goes into  holiday mode - R&R.

So in the spirit of ‘Replace’ I shall replace that with beer….NO NO…just kidding..a nice cuppa tea like Mom used to make with cream and sugar.  Perhaps I will pick up some 18% cream for that once a day treat.  Now that I can look forward to.

The other issue is so secret I hate to say it but…my grandson thinks I quit smoking a long time ago and the only safe time for me to have one is late at night when he is in bed.  SHHH!  First of all I hate sneaking around.  What am I?  The child here?  Secondly I hate lying to him.  Deceiving him.  So soon as this is posted on goes The Patch.  The shame is not in the smoking, I support those who wish to smoke, the shame for me is in the deceit.  I considered being truthful with him and telling him to get used to it, he’s not the boss of me.. but I think I just don’t care to pursue this particular avenue of self destruction right now.  Not worth my time or money and it actually is interfering in my creativity since I have to pop outside to do the deed.

TUNE OUT

This advice did not come from within, beyond or anywhere except my email.  Once I woke, wrote down the key words I needed, I checked my stats and emails for all your posts.  Being Gemini this is part of what it said – (and no before you even think to ask I do not plan or live my life according to said scope, but it is amusing) – You need some peace and quiet.  Don’t even pick up a newspaper – try to not even think!  Just tune out and take care of yourself.

Nuts I just get this thinking thing down and now…..well too late for today.  I’ll have to try and not think tomorrow!  Have a wonderful day all!

I For An Eye and No Mayo

I For an Eye and no Mayo

It’s 9:56 am and feels way too early which may sound strange since I have been waking at 6ish each morning and dashing off to the track full of vim and vigor, a brain brighter than the newest star or the last burst of a dying one.

Like a newborn babe struggling to get the feel, the flow of life, my days and nights are off.  Night before last my mind would not rest until I blogged so it was post midnight by the time I finished which still would have been okay but in opening the doors to the barn to let a few horses out I accidentally welcomed a fresh herd of ideas that kept me up til early light.  I slept until nine and actually woke refreshed and had a very comfortable feeling day.

Now my expectation was that I would self correct last night and would have had vile, delicious temptation not reared it’s ugly head.

My name is Chris King and I have an addiction.  Reading, reading reading.
I have become strong enough that I can actually put down a good book for bit and have learned that bedtime routine reading should be interesting but not gripping, unless it is something I can complete in a short time.  Short stories work well for this. Currently my pre sleep angel is Stephen Hawking.  Read a bit, snuggle down and dream of space, time, universes and the fact that most of this science is supposition, but oh so intriguing in a Disney Fantasy Land sort of way.

But my daytime fare, Clive Cussler/Justin Scott came to mind briefly as I was about to roll over the ledge of consciousness to restful, restorative slumbers, and I congratulated myself on my strength in resisting an all nighter with ‘The Spy’.

I tell you I felt like a Stepford Wife (the movie version with Nicole Kidman,which I love).  Somewhere in an alternate universe Christopher Walken was throwing a switch triggering my electrical system into action independent of my sanity.  I found myself, entirely against my will I assure you, pulling back from the precipice of comfortable slumber and getting up, walking to another room to get my fix.

Oh and the Title of this?  Well I slept in till 8:30 forgetting I was taking my sister to the Eye Doc so did not get any time for brekkie.  Right next door to the office is a Wendy’s.  Unlike every other fast food who provides breakfast fare, this establishment does not. Oh and they have no mayo for the sandwich…it was still good in a lunchy sort of way.

So here I sit with a spicy chicken burger and coffee while sis gets her eyes checked and really all I want to do is get back to my book.  Maybe for lunch I will have breakfast.

Forecast: Tired today so all systems should self correct tonight due to a 90% chance of exhaustion?

When Heaven Becomes Hell or Something Like That

When Heaven Becomes Hell or Something Like That

I have always had an addictive personality I think. Put more positively I guess I would have to say I am passionate. That sounds better!

As a child I read and read and read and that is one passion that remains today.  Back then it was the dreaded Uncle Arthur’s bedtime stories previously mentioned in No! No! Please No More Bedtime Stories!, Trixie Belden, anything by Pearl S. Buck..well the list is endless.

Lately I have blogged on some of my current favs which includes Stephenie Meyer and the whole Twilight thing.  The first I even knew about this series was the six o’clock news sometime ago, which showed a bunch of tweenies lined up to see the first movie.  The minute vampires were mentioned I shut the set off and muttered at great length to myself about the disgusting situation of the world and it’s youth and how no good could come out of the downward spiral society was on.  

That Christmas my daughter-in-law gave me…yup..the first Twilight book.  

So came my Cullen passion and it has not abated.  I have every book including The Short life of Bree Tanner.  I have on my desk top the leaked copy of Midnight Sun which Meyer posted since it was already out there and chose not to finish.  The books are filled with anticipation, mystery and myth.  Her character development is intense and in depth. The set has been a reread again and again seeking out what was said before that hinted at something explained two novels later.

Now my last two weekends have been reading marathons, barely poking my head out of the book, never mind the door.  So today I took myself in hand and sternly made myself go for a walk.  Fresh air – well as fresh as it can be – no books, no iPad, just a good old fashioned walk. No coffee shop because that meant reading and sipping.

I ended up at a mall, and not being a shopper I still entered and practiced the art of browsing, like normal people do, and bookstores were not allowed.  I strolled the whole mall and decided I needed something from Wal-Mart.

For the life of me I can’t remember what it was because as soon as I stepped in the door something unknown took over and stupefied me, and forced me, I swear, to approach a large table with BOOKS.  I could see it coming and reached way down deep, where pure grit resides, to prepare myself.  Why I could handle this.  I would look but not touch.  I would be master of  these insane urges for words, stories, poems, toilet cleaning instructions, anything.

Then I muttered a groan of agony mixed with a liberal dose of the ecstatic.  Before me lay the twilight saga: the official illustrated guide.  The first fifty-five pages are all about how Meyer came to write the story.  A total of five hundred and forty-three pages of history and detail of every character in the series.  I mean EVERY character!

I forced myself to visit my aunt for tea as planned, even though the book in the bag sang to me like a siren.  I forced myself to visit with my sister this evening,  when she arrived as invited, thinking please please just let me look at it. I even made time to read your blogs but now! Now as midnight approaches I am free to look.  

I have made myself promise it would be just a wee peek and I have every confidence that in a short time I can put it down, close the cover, have a normal night sleep, rise in the morning at a decent hour, clean my house, perhaps solve a world problem or two and then treat myself to this delicious demon of addiction.  I am sure I can.  I am. Sure.

If You Really Knew Me…I Took an Old Friend Down Tonight

Flurries fly but I persist in believing spring is here!

It’s Thursday and time for Mama’s Losin It Writing Prompts. My choice is – If you really knew me, you would know that…..

You would know that I get hooked on books. Or more accurately hooked on words. That leads to a lot of rereading of phrases, paragraphs or the whole book. I think I may have an addictive personality.

Any way the old friend I took down was not someone I demolished in any way as the title suggested, but an old book I pull down from the shelf  now and then.

One of my addictions from about twenty odd years ago is Dean Koontz. The book tonight is a fav and it was published way back in ’88 called Lightning.
This book not for it’s first line but for the gripping tale he tells. Good suspense although the first line is pretty good.

I mention first lines because I am a sucker for them. Charles Dickens, my absolute hero was best at it. Who could forget the first line in …A Tale of Two Cities….”It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch …”

Of course that story also had the most memorable last line also…”It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a …”

But for me and Mr. Koontz possibly, the best first line was in a book called Winter Moon and the line is… “Death was driving an emerald green Lexus.”

In my dreams that’s the way I want to start a book. With a line so gripping you have no choice but to dive in filled with excitement and anticipation. (Anticipation is another addiction). sigh…soon I will have no secrets from you!

Oh and just for your information I do tend to fall for any good line – but that would be another blog!

Any favorite line out there you would like to share?
 

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