IS WANT DESIRABLE?

IS WANT DESIRABLE?

I’ve been thinking a lot about ‘Want’ lately.

The most frequent definition is similar to Merriam-Webster 1. To be needy or destitute.  2.  To have or feel need.

Thefreedictionary.com says it is – to desire greatly; wish for.

Wiki.answers.com goes a little further and says ‘Want refers to what you absolutely have to have and ‘need’ refers to something that you don’t really lust for – but you just need it.

Answers.yahoo.com says – DESIRE is when you want something you can’t have.  WANT is when you don’t need it but you get it anyways.

I always thought that reaching a point where one says, ‘I want nothing’ was a sign of happiness, an expression of gratitude.  I don’t think it means you have everything you could want, it just means that you are grateful and appreciative for what you have.  I disagree with M-W that WANT means being needy or destitute and agree whole heartedly with the second part – To have or feel need.

There are many, perhaps too many, in this day of materialism who WANT, not because of need, unless you count the need to possess as much as possible.

I think there is a much more positive side to WANT.  Because of want we set goals and move ourselves and society forward.  Want is not always about self, but the accomplished goal is indeed personal.  WANT is an acknowledgement and from there comes our plan, our goal.

This is a very narrow positive because wanting and not receiving affects us.  So then what happens?

We can accept the ‘not having’, we can I suppose change the WANT, although if the wanting is part of our need it is not easy to give up.  Some who WANT change nothing and live, I believe, half a life never being able to get past that thing and move on.  These are the bitterest lives immersed in anger and every form of negativity.

There are special people out there who WANT and accept the not having and chose to live in joy.

WANT AS A SOURCE OF HOPE OR BELIEF

This weekend a young man died.  I only met him a couple of times but my sister was a friend.  He was born on the other side of the world in a country where his mother had to hide him so he would not be killed.  Eventually they came to live in Canada, where despite my occasional groans about politics and institution is an excellent place to live.

Here he was loved by many.
Every day he went out about the town in his electric wheelchair.  Malls were one of his favorite spots to hang out where he cheered so many with his smile and laugh.  He loved people and they in turn loved him.

In the summer he loved to go to a local park where he got out of his wheelchair and sat by the lake on a rock.  Just like everyone else.  He had wants and was never embittered by them.  He had joy for others and his want was a dream that could not be allowed on this plane of life.

It was just a few days ago when he spoke, as well as he could speak, and he told her that when he got to heaven someday  he would be able to walk, would be able to run and jump.  And his belief gave him joy.

He never resented others for what they had, he was just happy for them.

He died, this man loved by so many, somehow falling or rolling from the rock into that lake and drowning.  And as my sister spoke of him yesterday she softly said, ‘He just wanted to be normal.’

And for a time I thought of WANT and the people whose lives are ruined by it and I thought of people like this man who in the ‘not having’ enriched everyone else’s life. And I blushed through my tears as I drove home, ashamed that my Wants have at times been negatively flavored and I found a gratitude and overwhelming joy at what I do have, and found myself wondering what I can do to enrich other lives.

You see I met this man perhaps twice and if this is the impact he had on me you have some idea of others and the value of their tears.

R.I.P.

FITFS Friday – Georgette Sullins

Footsteps

Footsteps (Photo credit: courosa)

For those of you who may wonder what each Friday’s FITFS series is about, I will catch you up.  It’s all about heroes, specifically my heroes in the Blogosphere.  People I admire, have a blogging relationship with, people I want to emulate in some way (or in every way).  People I learn from.

You know that corny line in the movie with Jack Nicholson and Helen Hunt, As Good as it Gets? – “You make me want to be a better man?”  Well, my Following in the FootSteps heroes enrich my life and by their very example make me want to be a better person.

And so it is with Georgette Sullins where this multilingual wife, mother, daughter, and grandmother takes us along on her journey of memories, life lessons, and new things discovered.  We get to arm chair it with this well travelled southern lady.  On her very first blog in Sept. 6, 2010 she started us off with memories of Oaxaca Mexico.

As a teacher for over 30+ years Georgette continues to teach us in the most delicious way.  Her entertainment value is first but oh my there are wonderful things to learn from all over the world.  I love how she did an end of the year review and in December 2011, I think it was, she gave us a recipe for mulled wine, that I had been searching for since 1985.  The exact recipe!

Georgette’s blog has universal appeal, I believe – and I say universal because should there be an intelligent life form in space I am sure they will also be reading her.

Oh! And she names scarecrows! Don Francisco is one!

Do I have a favorite blog?  Can’t say I do because as soon as I read one, it becomes the fave.

Now just what would I like to emulate about Georgette?

Certainly her ability to place us along side her as we travel, observe and learn.  Becoming part of her reality.  It’s a nice place to be.  In her company.  Could not ask for better! And, her enthusiasm for life, her joy and her faith! Oh! and her humour and wisdom.  Oh! and of course her appreciation for me which makes me want to do the same for others.

Please do drop by, say hi, and leave a comment or two.

*How do I choose my heroes?  Well, in the main it is they who choose me.  I cannot choose in order of importance as they are all important so I started first with those whom I have the closest relationship through comments on my blog and those who subscribe to Bridgesburning.  I have a long way to go because I have been very blessed by these most wonderful people. And if I can ever truly emulate them it will be by inspiring others.

http://georgettesullins.wordpress.com/

Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I’m sixty-four?

Will you still need me; will you still feed me, when I’m sixty-four?

When The Beatles first sang this song in 1967 I was young enough that 35 seemed very old and the thought of ever turning 64 seemed pretty much impossible.  I just didn’t give it much thought.  Well sixty-four now passed me by.

I’ve been musing a lot lately; thinking, considering, evaluating, contemplating.  Probably because I am about to enter my sixty-fifth year and it is a new frontier.  Neither of my folks reached this age and I am the oldest of my siblings and most of my cousins.  I know, I know.  Many of you are saying 65 is not old and I keep hearing things like, ‘sixty is the new forty.’  Well, I remember forty and no it isn’t quite.  The spirit is willing, and there are many things I do that make me feel pretty good, pretty healthy, pretty young, but the song I most identify with is Toby Keith’s ‘As Good As I Once Was’.

‘I ain’t as good as I once was

But I’m as good once as I ever was.’

The most interesting thing to have happened this past week in talking to my friends/family about my party on Friday is that I don’t want any gifts because….and this is the most exciting part…I suddenly realized that there is nothing on this earth that I need or want.

This doesn’t mean that I have everything – it means I am happy, content and satisfied.

I went outside for my usual evening outing to look at the sky last night and on spying the first star I began my little ‘Star light, Star bright, grant the wish I wish tonight’ and stopped just as I started with the realization that I do not have anything to wish for.  And then the epiphany – I am happier right now than I have ever been in my life.  The knowledge came to me quite suddenly and without much ado – it just sort of is.

I still have mountains to climb, dreams to fulfill, stories to create, but I also have happiness, contentment, and gratitude.

I guess as I finish writing this I realize there is a wish I will make on tonight’s star, and that is that every one of you will find this same happiness.

I am fortunate to have people who love me – in spite of myself (I have marveled at that before) and if I have one particular goal this year it will be to let all of them know how much they mean to me.

Who knew?    I do know that this is already the best birthday of my life.

A Proclamation of Love, A Declaration of Intent

My ever entertaining 3 year old G2 is telling all who will listen he is going to marry Mommy.  To prepare for said nuptuals he is brushing his teeth at least three times a day, more if he could get away with it.  Today he asked for his shaving kit, a child’s Christmas toy he received complete with cream, razor, mirror and brush and proceeded to spruce himself up.  The same goes for hair combing.

He adores his Mom, her blue eyes, long blonde hair..she is perfect.  Previous to this his affections were reserved for Ariel the Mermaid and then Rapunsel all of whom have long hair.

He first mentioned his intent yesterday and I replied that it was a wonderful idea.  This morning he mentioned it again, watching me closely for my reaction.  Again I told him that was wonderful.  Then he said, “I told my Daddy and Daddy said ‘no’ that Mommy is his.  But I am going to marry her.”  He is pleased that Daddy seems on board with the idea now.

In addition it has become a training tool in matters so far unsuccessful.  He has developed an attachment to his soother lately.  Today Daddy told him to put it away and when he firmly replied, “No”, Daddy said he didn’t think Mommy would want to marry anyone with a soother.

“Fine,” he said and promptly deposited it in the kitchen.  Now if we can just use this to ensure number 2 is properly looked after.

I remember both my sons at the same age deciding they were going to marry Mommy.  Then at about 8 they felt it necessary to assure me that,”Mommy, I will live with you forever.”  And that is exactly where G1 is at that exact age.

Ah the purity and sincerity of youth.  I love it!

First Failed Flush of Love – Actually

Ah First Love

First Failed Flush of Love Actually
 
These slightly overcast hot humid July mornings sometimes serve up, in addition to a light sprinkling of temporary rain, a particular memory from a land far away, a time long ago. Actually a time long ago not so much on the land faraway, except it does seem in my mind to have been a million miles away. A land distanced by time I guess.
 
We were going on vacation to a cottage probably somewhere in the Haliburton or Muskoka region of Ontario where lakes meet forest meet city dudes for a limited week or two each year. It had to have been the late fifties, a time before, air conditioning, seat belts, road service and car radios that could receive signals outside a city limits.
 
Cars broke down all the time, or at least threatened to, but were easily fixed with a patch, hot air, or a good smack along it’s frame. I remember one trip where the engine kept overheating and the only solution was to drive with the heat blowing on max on the hottest day of the year.
 
There were seven of us that year, two parents and five kids and I cannot remember what kind of car it was but it easily accommodated four or five wee bodies. I’m thinking we were between twelve and six years old. I was the oldest and considered myself a diva of sorts without knowing that word existed, and for sure possessed that false prepubescent sophistication where really, nothing associated with family was good enough for this princess and Mom and Dad became Mother and Father and really, what kind of car we drove and where we went was below my level of interest..sigh.
 
I don’t remember much about the cottage except it must have had walls, enough bedrooms and probably and indoor loo as that is one memory that would have caught my royal attention.
 
One day on the beach, no, not white sand, probably a stony beach with large rocks lining the shore, I found myself talking to a boy. There was none of the discomfort or awkwardness that preteens often start to feel, just nice pleasant conversation. It turned out that he lived very close to my house and knew my brother. Then the conversation took a turn that screamed, ‘hormones at work here!’ but of course I would not recognize that message for a few years.
 
“How old are you?” he asked.
 
Not sure what to say here as all of a sudden it occurred to me that I did not want him to know I was just a silly kid (it seems the diva devil flees in the face of true love). After a pause I countered brilliantly with, “How old are you?” feeling much like Baby must have felt when she uttered the words, “I carried a watermelon.”
 
“Fifteen,” he replied, head down, hands in his pockets and kicking dirt with his right foot.
Whew, I knew it was safe to lie since he obviously was not fifteen.
 
“Well I’m fourteen,” and he nodded. He said that his family was going home the next day, (and mine still had a week to go), and asked if he could call me for a date sometime.
 
Our week passed and I soon forgot about the encounter but a few days after returning home I got a phone call. Now phone calls back then were rare. No one actually phoned unless there was a specific purpose to said call. And there were party lines so every conversation could be heard by most of the neighborhood.
 
Anyway, the call came on a Saturday morning and he asked if I could go to the matinee that afternoon with him?
I asked my Mom, and explained who this fellow was, and my brother corroborated his decent character, and Mom said yes.
 
I was a bit in awe at the potential of a first date but was pretty cool and calm about it, while my mother made me put on an actual dress and comb my hair (I was pretty much a tomboy like Trixie Belden then so gave no thought to ‘dressing up.’
 
Then I waited. And waited. And waited. I was not particularly upset, just a little confused maybe but I had not invested any hopes and dreams in this guy so it was no biggie, although looking back; it probably was for my mother.
 
Later that day a hurried whispered call came from my suitor who apologized for not showing up because his Mom had gotten mad at him and grounded him. He sounded totally humiliated and embarrassed.
“No problem,” said I, quite sincerely and meaning it. And then I promptly forgot about it, except every now and then on a hot humid overcast, July morning, my mind does that little time travel thing, where I find myself standing on a stony beach.
 


*The ‘Actually’ series are stories of childhood and family and memories.

Thanks to Photobucket for providing photos.

Awards For a Job Well Done Beginning with Colleen’s Chatter Blog

What do awards count for?  What is their value?

I have been very fortunate at WordPress.com to meet an incredible group of people who each day takes to the keyboard to share parts of their lives, parts of themselves.  We have a delightful award system to recognize each other and to say thank you.

 

Irresistibley sweet

The idea is to accept the award, link back to the giver (me), post seven things about you, and to pass it on to 15 others.   The fifteen is time consuming but I want to do it justice.

 Some folk find it difficult to take the time because of busy schedules.  In the past I have selected fifteen and perhaps only heard from two or three.  What is important is that you have the award and may post it on your site (something I still cannot figure out how to do).  Even if you are unable to pass it on, you have still earned it.

 

stylish blogger

I have three awards given me by Elizabeth at Mirth and Motivation eof737.wordpress.com

Elizabeth, is one of those who is my daily inspiration whose site provides common sense doable strategies for living.

 My goal is to pass on these awards to one person daily.  There are people who have already won some of these and while I will be looking for new people I must still recognize others who regardless of previous awards cannot be left out.

 The first of these is Colleen’s Chatter Blog found at bikecolleenbrown.wordpress.com

You will have to visit her site to see how this hardworking, hard running Irish woman who believes she is not witty but loves humour views every day life in Ohio.

 

versatile blogger

Congratulations Colleen!  Enjoy!

 Oh and my seven secrets?  I will post separately!

SHAWN ROCK ROCKS!

The Real Royal Wedding

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

SHAWN ROCK ROCKS
 
Coming Soon!
 
Y’all will remember The Real Royal Wedding that took place May 14, 2011 and the MOG (Mother of the Groom).
 
Fascinators were at a minimum probably because Princess Beatrice was unable to attend but the Royal Chef truly rocked. I have had requests for more about this culinary delight, his business and where you can find him.
 
So I thought I would whet your appetites by letting you know  I am in the process of setting up an interview so I can accurately portray the story and skills of this incredible man and his team.
 
Hopefully I will have the delicious details soon!

 

My Son My Speech

I am trying so hard not to share every little thing about our own personal Royal Wedding, but here is just one more. I must admit to more sentiment than humor in this one but hope you will give it a look because it is just a tiny look at one man’s life. This is my speech at the Wedding.

My Son
Before R was born we dallied with a number of names looking for just the right moniker. His dad called from the ER one evening to say a little boy had been brought in with red hair and blue eyes and his name was R. Just that easily our baby ..if a boy..had a name.

From birth he brought lightness, joy and an amazing skill with people. Naturally, balanced with that, came stubbornness and tenacity.

R marched to a different drummer with his first steps and to this day he often seems genuinely surprised that the universe actually may have it’s own drummer .

WE, all of us here, have a drummer of some sort to keep our rhythm of life.
R is one of those rare souls that has a whole marching band.

This is the stuff the shakers and the makers of the world are made of. This is the stuff of an incredible man, my son.

So my son, This is you

2 years old….
R don’t run with a stick in your mouth
R don’t run with That stick in your mouth
R get in the car we are going to emerge

3 years old.
Ryan go play Mommy’s doing laundry
“Drink Mommy”
Ryan that is bleach!!
Hello…poison control…this Mrs B
R get in the car we are going to emerge

R it’s okay if you do not eat dinner but you get nothing more til breakfast
“Drink mommy”
Hello poison control..this is Mrs. B. R drank my Lemon Up hair conditioner
R get in the car we are going to emerge

Hello poison control?
Hello Mrs. B what did R take this time.?

His Generous Nature

R was in hospital for a couple of days. Breakfast came the next morning. The little girl in the crib next to him did not get breakfast. R crawled out of crib, into hers and gave her an orange.
A sign of his generosity.
Nurse…”Chris, R gave the little girl next to him an orange..we had to cancel her surgery.”

One snowy Thanksgiving Day R came home for dinner. He was living in Simcoe and was glad for the left overs I sent with him. When I called the next day I asked if he enjoyed the food. He said, “Mom last night I looked outside and saw a homeless man in a doorway so I gave him sandwich and soup,and gave him my blanket. He was asleep so I covered him up put the food beside him.”

People Skills and instilling confidence..
Eunice…you know Chris. I was nervous about letting the boys go canoeing..but R reassured me that he is an expert canoeist.
Me ….Eunice..R has never been in a canoe before

Val…Chris. I don’t let Andrea go out in cars with kids but I always know she is safe with R driving
Me..Val, R does not have a drivers license

Sincerity
R has an amazing group of friends, a band of brothers of substance, talent and great humor. This is one of the rewards that life has brought this man of strong moral fiber.

And then a few years ago came a young woman who first said to me…R makes me laugh!
And over the years I have seen them laugh, work, and struggle and survive and grow.
Last night my son said to me, “Mom I’m sorry it has taken me so many years to marry but I had to wait until she was ready. And if I had to I would have waited forever”

Oh yeah and if I come across my other son’s speech from his wedding I will share it…cross dressing, pyromania all at the age of 2 and a loving heart!

Ten Fav Things For Mama Kat

The Wedding

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
My Current 10 Favs Include more than one person.
 
1) I love Kilts and Best Brothers – and yes the kilt was worn au naturel as demanded by tradition.
 

Groom Kilt Brother in Tux

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
2) I love the women who make my sons happy!  Heidi who has been married to
 
Tom for 9 years and says she could not have had a more perfect husband, and
 
Mary Beth or MB who has just married my son in the Kilt.
 
 
3) I love that both men are good men, well regarded, who love laughter and
 
general silliness and are devoted to their wives.
 
 
4) I loved this wedding that was so laid back that when the minister asked what
 
symbols they brought to signify their love, the bride answered our rings..but
 
they are in the other room.  Yes everyone chuckled and waited while the maid
 
of honor set off to retrieve them.
 
 
5)  I love my exhusband who gave a wonderful speech about his son and even
 
the exe’s wife who to my knowledge had no disparaging remarks to make about
 
me…at least that I heard.
 
 
6) I love my son, the groom, Ryan, who believes in his roots and family and
 
who wore a kilt to honor my mothers family the Jenkins.
 
 
7)  I love my son Thomas for his devotion to his family, his crazy humor, and
 
his wild appreciation of life.
 
 
8)  I love MB’s family who have taken Ryan as one of their own.
 
 
9)  I love my sister Jane who provides more support than she can ever know.
 
And yes the bra..when she saw my perfect dress she said a strapless bra would
 
be perfect.  I do not have one I said.  Yes! you do she said as she whipped
 
her dress off and promptly gave me hers.  Right there.  Right then!
 
 
10)  I love my grandsons..Tom and Heidi’s sons who think I am the coolest
 
grandma in the world..because I tell them so
 
 
And really there has to be one more..sorry Mama Kat I know I am breaking the rules. 
 
11) I love every reader, every one of you who comments on my blog.  You are the best!
 

Mama

Weddings, Cleanses, Trains, and Automobiles..No Planes Thank God!

Weddings, Cleanses, Trains, and Automobiles..No Planes Thank God!
 

Planes not..trains and autos yes
You all know -well those of you who read me, the others won’t of course – that I have been completely, let me repeat that, completely laid back, calm, mellow, chilled, composed, placid, tranquil, serene, collected, loose, about this whole wedding thing coming up Saturday. And all without the aid of fermented distilled liquids or other aids.

Vino

 
For you dear folk that have inquired as to my cleansing attempt to appear perkier for the day….it was disaster! Within two days I noticed an increasing accumulation of fluid and the ‘belly fat” it promised to eliminate. Next day up four pounds! I quickly remedied that by enlisting the help of my good friend Senekot. Some may resort to the help of a personal trainer but Senekot is cheaper and quicker. I cut calories, worked out more and grew and grew and grew.
 
I got a dress far lovelier than I ever thought possible that fit in the store. I may have to wear an old robe and just carry it on the hanger as I walk down the aisle as Mother of the Groom. MOG. One dear blogging friend said that people would say, “that Chris, she is so MOGnanimous ” Now I fear they may say, “that Chris she is so huMONGous! Just kidding there – all is back to normal. The problem is I wanted better than normal. No glowing liver or colon to display. Probably better that way.
 

Wedding Robe

So did not sleep as panic stepped in to smack me upside the head last night. “You fool”, it said. “How dare you think you can sail through this unscathed by worry, stress, and fear”?

Away I say!

 
This morning bought train tickets for sis, Aunt and me.
This morning printed off hotel confirmations for sis, Aunt and me and made one more reservation for another.
Bought the wine for the rehearsal party and had it delivered.
 
Still must do haircut, manicure, get silky undies…since my innards are no longer worth displaying.
 
My credit cards are creaking from mounting costs but not yet broken. (Hang on babies just til Monday). Am hosting breakfast the morning after at the King Eddy so Monday it must be.
 
So:
Cost of wedding prep……………………………………………mucho dinero
Cost of panic, fear, stress, worry, sleeplessness, panic again……………………………………………………………………priceless

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