Was it a dream????
I have had the honor to attend several deaths through out my decades in nursing. Probably more than a hundred. Most have been good, some inspiring and a few …well…
One I will remember forever, even though this one time I was not there.
Many many years ago…read decades here.. I worked in a nursing home. Most of the home comprised of private apartments and we also had a small twenty-eight bed sick unit. When I made rounds each day I always stopped in to see one particular couple. They were English and very proper and deeply in love even after almost seventy years of marriage. Just being around them made you feel good.
I was with the doctor the day he had to tell Mr. M he had lung cancer and not long to live. No this is not a smoking story – the man had never puffed in his life. After the doctor left I returned to see how my English gent was doing. I asked him how he felt about the news. He said, “Chris I am ninety-two years old. I am a Christian so I know I will see my sons and other family that have passed. But life is precious and if I was two hundred it would still be too soon to leave it.”
As the next few weeks passed Mr. M got weaker and finally ended up in our sick unit, bed ridden and emaciated. I had Monday and Tuesday off so when I gave report to the next shift on Sunday I said that Mr. was weak but holding his own.
I went off to enjoy my days with my young family. Just after midnight on Monday I had a dream in which I woke up in my bedroom to find Mr. M standing beside my bed. He was smiling. I was distressed and asked him what he was doing there. That he was sick and had to get into his bed. He smiled and said that I did not understand and to come with him. I found myself standing bedside his bed in the Home. He was standing beside me and then I noticed he was also peacefully in his bed.
I could not formulate any thoughts, let alone words and just stared at him. He smiled again and said that he had to go but he was going to tell “them” how kind and good I was. I panicked once it dawned on me what he was saying. I found myself begging him not to tell anyone. I said “they” knew me and knew I was not good and please please don’t say anything. He smiled again, so sweetly, and then he was gone.
I woke to find myself sitting up in bed. I looked at the clock – it was two-twenty a.m. Thinking what a strange dream it was I went back to my slumbers and forgot about it.
Wednesday I returned to work and was getting report from the night staff. I pointed out that they forgot report on Mr. M. The nurse said that he had died. After what felt like a long pause I asked when he died. Two-twenty Tuesday morning.
For several days after that I was not sure what to do with that information but I felt like there was something I was supposed to do.
His wife kept coming to mind but I resisted thinking sure I’m supposed to go to this old grieving lady and tell her I spoke with her dead husband. But the thought would not go away so feeling forced and more than a little stupid I went to the apartment.
We chatted about nothing really and then I told her bout the dream. I wasn’t sure what to expect but she just quietly said, “Thank you dear, I knew if there was a way he could let me know he was alright he would. And he has.”
I don’t think of it often, but every now and then……
March 10, 2011 at 4:40 pm
What a beautiful experience and a good reminder by everyone to always listen to that little voice inside us – blessings abound when we do!
walk in beauty.
March 11, 2011 at 9:24 am
I love that little voice. It is so easy to get caught up with life and activity and miss it.
Thanks!
March 11, 2011 at 11:10 am
indeed. we all need to take time to listen and the pay attention to what we know!
blessings.
March 10, 2011 at 7:01 am
A sad but beautiful story; your instinct was right to go speak to the old man’s wife – it was what she had been waiting for. We should always go with our gut feeling, it’s usually right!
March 10, 2011 at 8:52 am
You are so right….thank you for reading it.
March 9, 2011 at 11:19 pm
Hi there. I found you on Aja’s site. I think that the world is a much bigger place than we think it is, and thank god you were there to ‘intercept’ Mr. M, and comfort his widow. The afternoon before my great uncle passed, I was standing by his bed, and he said to me, they are all waiting for me, I asked, who was waiting, and he named his mom, dad, and all his brothers and sisters. He told me not to be scared of death. My great uncle was 96 years old.
My mom has always taught us to look for signs in life, as soon as I was diagnosed with breast cancer, I saw 711 (which is good luck for me). My friend, who passed away always told me I needed a team of doctors to treat me, if I ever had cancer. I had two opinions already, but a friend of my sister’s insisted I go for a 3rd opinion, so I went. Funny, it was a team of doctors, and frankly I felt as if I was in the right place. I knew that it had been my friend who steered me to these doctors, and it was the best decision I had made. The world is a big place, and I have found in life, that my instinct is always right. You did the right thing! check out my blog – Karen’s 711. have a great day! Karen
March 10, 2011 at 3:05 am
Thank you Karen for your kind words! I checked out your blog and have subscribed. I like your work and your sharing with us. I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 1997 and had surgery but did not require chemo so you are helping me …us to understand.
Chris
March 9, 2011 at 4:29 pm
Wow. I am as glad as the Mrs that you shared that with us.
March 11, 2011 at 9:21 am
Yes…it is a nice memory..one of a kind..Thanks!